The Surrogate Paradox
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Sheldon and Amy have decided to revisit the idea of having an intellectually gifted child.  However, they need Penny to help them out. Set at an undetermined point past season four.
1. Chapter 1

**So I'd been toying with this idea since the season premiere last year, then a while ago someone asked me if I could do something like this, and then the other day on another site we were having a conversation about it, so I'm finally writing it! :) **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything.**

"Look," Penny said, looking down at her hands. "I love you guys, I really do, but this? This is something huge. This will change my life, all of our lives. I mean, are you even aware of what exactly you are asking me to do?"

"I know it may be weird for you," Amy said. "Sheldon and I discussed it at length before we even came to you with the idea."

Somehow Penny doubted that, but she sighed, folded her arms, and kept listening as Amy reiterated what they'd been talking about for the past half an hour. Yes, Sheldon and Amy were sure that this is what they wanted to do. Yes, they were aware of the burden that their request would put on Penny should she accept. Yes, they had entertained this idea before but cast it aside, but that was a long time ago, and of course they discussed pros and cons before coming to her, how stupid did she think they were? She should be honored to be approached for this task, Sheldon pointed out, as it's end result would benefit the common good. Somehow, Penny doubted that, too.

"I'm sorry," Penny said. "I don't know that I'd feel right doing this."

"I didn't realize surrogacy was a controversial issue," Sheldon said.

"You guys are dreaming up this perfect child," Penny said. "Perfect by _your _standards."

"What are you inferring about our standards?" Amy asked. "That they are faulty."

"No," Sheldon said. "She was implying it. You then inferred it."

"Correct," Amy said. "My apologies."

"Anyway," Penny said, "please, please don't take offense to this, but children need love. I'm not sure you two know how." At the confused looks that Sheldon and Amy exchanged, Penny scrambled for damage control. "I mean, you've always considered love to be primitive, correct? So you would be specialized at more higher levels of thinking, emotion, and all that hoo ha. But a baby needs to be taken care of on a primitive level."

"That's what you'd be doing as you sheltered it for nine months in your lady nest," Amy said. She beamed. "Did you like 'lady nest'? Sheldon said you might think that 'uterus' is too vulgar sounding."

"Well, isn't he thoughtful?" Penny said, with a hint of sarcasm.

Sheldon beamed himself. "Aren't I?"

Amy leaned over. "I believe that she was implementing sarcasm."

Penny waved her hands slightly to draw their attention back to her. "Look, guys, being a surrogate is a difficult task. I'm not even a mother. I'd always assumed that the first time I was pregnant, it would be my kid, and I don't know how I feel about carrying a child for two people who wish to use it as an intellectual product."

Sheldon and Amy glanced at each other. "We thought that you might say that," Sheldon said, shifting his weight, his elbow bumping Amy as he looked down at the ground. "And we are somewhat ashamed to admit this, but I guess we have no choice."

Amy glanced at Sheldon, then back at Penny. "Oh yes. Sheldon and I…um…" she looked down, then back up, "we want this baby. Like, not just for an experiment. Not just for science."

"Yes," Sheldon said, sighing. "We feel primitive and weak as individuals to admit it, but that's probably just because we want it so badly that we're willing to admit it."

Penny took a tiny step back, putting her hands across her heart. "You guys…" she said, quietly, feeling herself grow warm. "Are you serious?"

"We're scientists, Penny," Amy said. "We don't kid. Except at slumber parties."

"And on Anything Can Happen Thursday," Sheldon added.

Penny ran a hand through her hair. "Well…" she shook her head slightly. "Then yes."

A smile came across Amy's face. "Really?" She asked. "Now, you're sure you don't need more time to think, because…"

Penny nodded. "I have been thinking about it, this entire time. And, well, my only objection has been that I didn't think you really wanted it, so…" she spread her hands. "So I guess I can't really say no, now can I?" Knowing Sheldon's touch phobia, Penny took both of Amy's hands. She knew she was making this decision rather quickly. A half an hour was not much time to mull over what they were asking of her. She knew she'd regret doing it a million times. But she hoped the reward would balance it out, and she'd spent so much of her life being selfish; this was about as selfless as one could be. "You guys are among my best friends, and people do this for total strangers. So yes. I'll be the surrogate mother for your child."

"Thank you, Penny," Amy said, grinning. She leaned forward and kissed her friend's cheek. "Come, Sheldon. Let's go tell our parents the good news!"

"Wait," Penny said. "Your mother, Sheldon. What will she say?"

"She wants grandchildren," Sheldon said. "She knows I'm not into that religious stuff. She'll just have to understand."

"Well," Penny said, "Good for you for standing up for what you believe in, I guess."

"Yes, well, come on, Amy," Sheldon said. "We must go and tell the parent folk."

The Shamy smiled at Penny, turned, and exited the apartment. When the door closed behind them, Amy turned to Sheldon. "Thanks for the nudge. Very clever strategy."

"It was, wasn't it?" Sheldon asked. He glanced at Penny's door and smiled. "She seems to have bought it."

"As my Girls would say," Amy said, "she _so _bought it. Would you like to come over for a game of counterfactuals?"

Sheldon nodded. "I would. With all the effort we put into the lie, I could use an easy game."

They started down the stairs, walking in silence. Upon reaching the lobby, Amy cocked her head to the side ever so slightly. "Sheldon?"

"Yes?

"I am unsure as to how much of that was actually a ruse. You're not going to tell your mother, are you?"

"Of course not," Sheldon said. "She'd kill me."

**I've been so busy with viding recently, it's great to be writing again! As always, reviews are much appreciated! (And please, I haven't written in a while, spare me the reviews where I can count the words on one hand. Sorry if I sound bitter or rude, but I do find those somewhat annoying.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Not too much will happen in this chapter, we're just getting things moving along. Hope everyone is enjoying it so far!**

Penny slunk around the elevator and down the hall to the laundry room. Pressing her back against the wall, she scooted to the door and peered around it. She could see him putting his tee shirts into the washing machine, and a mischevious smile came over her face. Brushing her hair back, Penny put a bounce into her walk as she cheerfully entered the room, her hair flowing behind her. "Hey Leonard," she said playfully.

He turned, smiling at her. "Hey, Penny."

"Guess what I did today?" She said, resting her chin in her hands, her elbows resting on the top of the machine.

"You…bought…shoes?" Leonard guessed, glancing down at her feet.

"No," she said. "Well, actually, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about."

"Do I get points for guessing that?" He asked, grinning.

She cocked her head. "No. Well…" she cocked it the other way. "Yeah, because you're never going to guess this."

Leonard looked amused. "Why don't you give me a hint?"

"Okay." She glanced up, pretending to think although she knew damn well what hint she was going to give to him. "Okay, how about this. I'm going to have Sheldon's baby."

Leonard, who was bent over the washing machine, jerked his head up and banged it on the lid. He staggered a step backward, holding his head. "You're what?"

Penny crossed her arms and traced the tile on the floor with one of her feet. "Yep," she said keeping a straight face but dying of laughter inside.

He looked at her, confused. "You're having, what did you…wait!" He looked horrified. "What _did_ you do today."

"I offered to be Amy and Sheldon's surrogate," Penny said, like that was the only assumption to come out of her hint.

"You offered to..oh!" Leonard looked relieved. "You terrified me for a second there!"

Penny laughed. "I'm single, I'm not crazy."

"You'd have to be crazy and wildly persuasive to get him to…" Leonard shuddered. "Oh, bad images. Wait, that's me, never mind." Penny swatted him. "So are you going to be the mother, or…"

Penny laughed. "No, it's a Shamy baby. I'm being implanted."

"Don't let Wolowitz hear you say that," Leonard said. "Or Koothrapali. So," he said, looking at her sideways. "You're really going to carry their baby for them?"

Penny smiled. "Yeah. Isn't it great?"

"If you're sure that you're willing to do that," Leonard said, "then yes, it's great."

"Of course I'm willing!" She exclaimed. "What, do you not believe me?"

"I didn't say that," Leonard said. "Just pointing out…that you know…you tend to be…unsure…about some things."

Penny cocked her head. "Oh, God, you're not talking about us, are you?"

"I'm just saying that this isn't something you can decide to back out of if it gets hard, or if you get scared. Three people will be relying on you here. You're carrying a child that belongs to other people. Think about your shoes. If you damaged or lost your own, would you feel more or less guilty than if you damaged or lost someone else's?"

"I don't know," Penny said. "I wouldn't want to damage or lose a shoe at all…but…" she looked from the floor to Leonard as his point hit home. "You!"

He furrowed his brow. "What?"

"You," she said, stepping forward and putting her hands on his arm. "You're gonna help me do this."

"Well, okay," Leonard said, "but I think Sheldon would prefer if he and Amy were the parents…"

She shook her head. "Jokes are getting a little old, Leonard."

"Chances at receiving my help are growing slimmer, Penny."

"Right. Sorry." She smiled. "But it'll be fun! You, me, Sheldon, Amy, Bernadette, all being on the Surrogate Team, you know."

"I have a PhD, and have traveled to many places for research," Leonard said. "Never in my life have I heard of a Surrogate Team."

"There's a first time for everything, right?" Penny said, trying to bring her earlier cheeriness back. "Maybe you'll win a Nobel Prize!" Leonard gave her a look. "Okay, maybe not," Penny said. "But I'm going to do this. It's what Shamy really, really wants."

"Do they now?" Leonard asked.

"Uh huh." Penny nodded. "They told me themselves."

"Did they now?" Leonard said again. "Are you sure they weren't lying to you?"

"Leonard," Penny said, rolling her eyes. "I'm an actress. I think I know when someone is lying or not." She reached for the already dried clothes and began to fold them. "I have an appointment tomorrow to see if I'm healthy enough for the procedure. Sheldon has to work and Amy is going to visit her mother. Can you come with me and Bernadette?"

"Why is Bernadette going?"

"I think she and Howard are considering having a baby. She wants to hang around me during this so she knows what to expect."

"Married lady getting advice from the single farmgirl," Leonard said. "That's ironic."

"Not for Bernadette," Penny said, laughing. "She's the girl, remember, who took shots out of Yellow Fever petri dishes."

"You know," Leonard said, "thinking of that, I think that despite your drinking, you're more suited to this whole pregnancy thing than she is."

"That's why she's hanging around me," Penny said. "Because I'm kinda going to be awesome at this."

Leonard smirked. "Said Napoleon to his army at Waterloo."

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, smiling. "You're going to do great."

**Thanks to all my reviewers so far! Keep 'em coming, please! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter three! I've done quite a bit of research on surrogacy, and the beginning of the process is quite spread out, so the next chapter or two will show some time jumps. This chapter takes place about a week after the previous one, and chapter four will probably be a month or so after this one. Then things will progress more slowly, and we will get into each character's thoughts and feelings as the story progresses.**

**I still don't own anything.**

"So basically what we're going to do today," said the doctor, "is run some tests on you to make sure you're capable of carrying a baby. They won't be one hundred percent accurate, but they'll give us some idea. Now, the mother was in this morning to talk with us, and she said you were looking at a GS surrogacy, where she and her partner would be donating their sperm and eggs, correct?"

"Yes," Penny said.

"Okay…" The doctor looked at the preliminary forms that Penny had filled out in the waiting room. "So there's no history of disease in your family, you're mid to late twenties, which is old enough for agencies to accept you, but you know the parents so that doesn't matter…this would be your first pregnancy?"

"Yes," Penny said. "Does that make a difference?"

"It may make a difference to the couple you're doing this for," she said. "The only possible issue is that you don't know how you react to a pregnancy yet."

"They're aware of that," Penny said. "They're my friends."

"That's what they told us," the doctor affirmed. "Dr. Fowler said that they won't do it unless you're the surrogate, so they seem to trust you quite a bit. That's a very good thing." She smiled at Leonard and Bernadette. "Boyfriend and sister, I'm presuming?"

"Friend and friend," Bernadette said.

"I'm the first one," Leonard said. Penny, Bernadette, and Dr. Stevens looked over at him in confusion. "You said, boyfriend and sister, meaning me and Bernadette respectively, so I was just…never mind."

Dr. Stevens kept her perplexed look trained on Leonard for another moment, and then went back to the chart. "I am so glad we brought you along," Penny whispered to Leonard, smirking. Bernadette glanced over at him and smirked.

"Okay," said the doctor, making a few checks on the second page of the forms. "Everything we've done so far looks good. I assume that you and your friends have already discussed your feelings on pregnancy and childbirth options?"

Penny cocked her head. "Huh?"

The doctor froze. "Well, some couples, you know…they have ideals about how to go about things. Such as medications during pregnancy, whether they would prefer you not have drugs during delivery, things like that. It's crucial that you three have that discussion before you go through with this."

"Ah." Penny glanced at Bernadette. "Are you forseeing a problem?"

She shrugged. "Knowing them, no. But at the same time, knowing them, yes."

"I bet she's glad she brought you, too," Leonard teased.

"I'm sorry we came so unprepared," Penny said, feeling awkward knowing that she hadn't completed a critical step yet. "I'm so very new at this."

"There's no problem," said Stevens, "but I'd strongly recommend you have this discussion with them before you proceed any farther. And one more thing. You know that if something goes wrong with this pregnancy that would require you to have a hysterectomy or otherwise prevent you from having children in the future, your friends may end up with a child you carried and leave you with no option of having one of your own."

Penny nodded. "I understand," she said.

"Okay." The doctor flipped all the forms back to the front. "Once we get your results we can get you started. Now, Dr. Fowler said she was getting twenty eggs put into storage, but ultimately it's up to you how many you want implanted."

"Uh huh," Penny said.

"Of course, these are conversations for a later date," said the doctor. "Now your only job is to go home and have the necessary conversations with your friends."

"Thank you," Penny said, smiling at the doctor as she got off the table. "Am I free to go?"

"Yes," said the doctor. "But see Karen at the front desk to make sure you have a date to come in and discuss the results."

* * *

><p>1. How many eggs would you want implanted?<p>

2. Financial?

3. Drugs? No?

"Okay, let's start with you," Penny said, tapping the pen against the paper next to the first question mark. The pen made a small dot just to the right. Penny tapped the pen again, trying to hit the same dot. "They usually won't do more than four, right?"

"That is correct," Amy said, sitting beside Sheldon with her hands on her knees. "Sheldon and I are of course aware that the more we use at a time, the more likely it is that one will take, but at the same time, we assume that you would not want the possibility of carrying quadruplets."

"Amy Farrah Fowler is incorrect," Sheldon says. "_She_ assumes that you would not want to carry quadruplets. I disagree."

"Of course you do," Penny said. "Why…why is that exactly?"

"Despite your typical selfishness and worries about your looks, I believe that deep down you really want to better society. What better way to do that than carry the children of Amy and myself?"

"I made one list today," Penny said. "I can easily make another."

"No need, Bestie," Amy said. "I have persuaded Sheldon to take my side in the matter. Would you be willing to have two placed at one time? The procedure is expensive, but Sheldon and I have enough money to repeat the procedure if necessary."

"Two?" Penny was expecting them to want the full four, or possibly three. "Yes, I can absolutely do two."

"Penny, I assume you know, but with your level of education in mind I do ask, are you aware that you may have to carry twins for us?"

"No!" Penny said, her eyes growing wide. "Well golly, Sheldon, I'm not sure I can do this!"

Sheldon let out a breath. "Penny, when your sarcasm is pouring out like Niagra falls I _am _capable of detecting it."

"She was not using sarcasm," Amy said. "I am positive that she is dead serious."

Sheldon looked confused. "What?"

Amy glanced at Penny, then back at Sheldon. "Bazinga."

Penny let out what could only be described as a hoot before she could stop herself, leaning so far back in the chair that she nearly tipped it, using her hand to cover her mouth as she laughed. Amy grinned, looking much too proud of herself.

Sheldon pressed his lips together. "That is not funny."

"Sorry, sorry," Penny said, waving her hand. "But yeah, it is."

"No," Sheldon said, starting to twitch. "It isn't!"

"Don't argue with me," Penny said. "I'm going to have your baby, and whether your mother approves or not, I can still tell on you if you make this too difficult."

Sheldon looked away. "Fine."

"So we've established that two of my eggs will be placed into Penny at a time," Amy said, looking at the list on the table. "Now, financially, what do you want from us? We will of course cover all medical costs, but how do you want us to compensate you? We could pay you for each month we're renting you out for."

"I'm not an apartment," Penny said.

"It is a fairly good metaphor," Sheldon said. "An apartment is a room that is rented out so it is not just empty space. How is this situation different?"

"Um, I don't lose money if my…room…is empty?" Penny said.

"This woman is going to be impossible to work with," Sheldon said to Amy.

"Look," Penny said. "I know that a lot of surrogates get paid. I know that a lot of the time people that do it for friends and family don't. I don't have any right to ask for money from you guys, you're my friends."

Amy cocked her head. "You want enough to pay rent, don't you?"

"That'd be nice," Penny said too quickly.

Sheldon looked at Amy. "How on Earth did you know that?"

"Well," Amy said, turning toward him and grinning. "Penny, Bernadette and I were out looking at shoes and Penny had said that…"

"Never mind," Sheldon said. "I don't care."

"Okay," Penny said. "I have to go to work in a half an hour. We're going to finish this conversation in the next ten minutes, okay? Item three. Drugs or no drugs?"

"We would prefer it if you didn't have anything," Amy said, "simply because we don't want our child to have any chance at being mentally disabled, not because of drugs or anything that could otherwise be prevented. However, as a fellow woman, I understand if you do need to end up using them. But if it can be avoided, we'd rather you not."

Penny nodded slowly, pressing her lips together. That wasn't what she'd necessarily wanted, but she couldn't say that their answer came as a surprise to her. "Okay."

"We'll pay for Lamaze or whatever else you woman do to be able to have children with no medication," Sheldon offered.

"…okay…" Penny said again, nodding. "Okay."

"So," Sheldon said, "two eggs at a time, we pay rent during the pregnancy, and no drugs unless it's absolutely necessary. Is there anything else you two hens feel we should discuss?"

Penny and Amy looked at each other. "I do not believe so," Amy said. "But we have a month. If any other questions or concerns do arise, we can always talk again. It's not like we never see each other."

"Yeah." Penny looked down at her knees. "Okay, well, I gotta go get ready for work. I guess all the three of us can do now is…wait for the results of my tests."

"If we have to listen to her state the obvious at a nearly constant rate for the next year," Sheldon whispered to Amy, "it's almost worth it to stop the process now."

"Sheldon," Amy said, tilting her head slightly toward him. "Little geniuses. Our son or daughter graduating valedictorian of his high school while those his same age are learning cursive. A Nobel Prize before he can consume alcohol in this country…maybe, before that, winning the Stevenson Award younger than that Dennis Kim. And you – _you_ – would be his or her father. A respected physicist in your own right. People would think of us as the most famous line in science. Marie and Peirre Curie would be so far behind us, all our dust would have settled, rendering 'left in the dust' an untrue statement."

Sheldon turned to face her. "Amy Farrah Fowler, you are absolutely right." He looked at Penny. "I apologize, and now that that's done, it seems the only thing we can do is wait for the results of your tests."


	4. Chapter 4

**This story is becoming very difficult to write. I'm writing it with Leonard and Penny apart. I'm writing it with Howard and Bernadette married. But will Leonard and Penny be apart after their friends marry? I don't know. No one does. I was trying to figure out how to make this stay with the canon, but then I realized hey, Penny is having Shamy's bab(y)(ies). That's already so terrifically crazy. So I'm screwing canon. This fic is officially a post season 4 AU. :D**

**I still don't own anything.**

"Bestie, the doctor's office called. They have the results of your tests."

Penny spit her water halfway across the room. "We've been watching television for an hour and a half and you just now decide to tell me that?"

Amy looked baffled, watching Penny wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. "Well, I was going to as soon as possible, but it hadn't come up."

Penny put her glass down, trying not to sputter. "It didn't need to _come _up!"

"Did you want me to just spring this on you?"

Penny decided not to press the issue. "And…and…how did it come up now?"

"Well, our friend Grace on the television here said 'I'm taking the dog with me when I go up to the other house this weekend."

Penny cocked her head. "Am I going to follow this train of thought?"

Amy thought for a moment. "No."

"Ah." Penny folded her hands. "So…so…so what did they say?"

"They said that you are completely capable of carrying the child that Sheldon and I have created."

"Oh my gosh!" Penny shrieked, throwing her arms around Amy. The neurobiologist awkwardly returned the hug. "That's great! So…so what do we do now?"

"Well," Amy said, "the next step is of course for you to be implanted with two of the embryos. We will know about two weeks following the implantation if either of them took. If they don't, of course, we'll have to repeat the process, but of course not all of the pre-conception attempt segments."

"Okay!" Penny said, smiling and not even bothering to tell Amy that she didn't need to explain everything. As if Penny didn't do her research...or at least some of her research. "When will we do that?"

"The doctor said that they can try tomorrow evening, if that is okay with you. I said you'd call them with an affirmation."

"Well of course!" Penny said, jumping up. "I'll do that right now!" She reached for her phone.

"Bestie."

"Uh huh?"

"Bernadette has asked that I make sure you're absolutely okay with this." Amy thought back to the conversation that she'd had just hours ago.

"_I have heard from Sheldon that Penny can be rather selfish. Her agreement to do this is in itself a confirmation that she has no problems with it."_

"_I know," Bernadette put down her coffeepot. "But still, she said yes in the first conversation you had with her. It would be polite to just make sure that it's okay, you know, a last minute chance to back out."_

_Amy looked confused. "You want me to subtly imply that I don't want her to do it?"_

"_No. But if she's that okay with it, as you say, it'll just evaporate any tiny doubts she may be having. She needs to know your friendship is more important to you than the baby is."_

_"And you think this will beneficial?"_

_"Amy, you're an extremely intelligent woman. You should have gathered from this conversation that I think it's important."_

_"Fair point."_

_"So you'll make sure?"_

_"Did I not just say I would?"_

Penny put down the phone and put a hand on Amy's. "Sweetie, you and Sheldon are among my best friends. Of course I'm going to do this. I love you guys, and if you two want a baby, I'll do what I can to help you have one."

Amy gave a somewhat stiff nod. "Yes. Yes, Sheldon and I do want a baby, that's right." She grinned suddenly. "Thank you, Bestie!"

Penny grinned back, caught up in Amy's excitement. "You're welcome!" she said brightly, picking up the phone again. "Yes, hello Clairese, I'm..."

As Penny spoke with the receptionist, making the appointment, Amy picked up her own phone. She found Sheldon's number and her fingers flew over the keys. Twenty minutes away, while eating lunch with Leonard, Howard, and Raj, Sheldon picked up his phone at the signaling beep and looked at the message.

_Appointment made. I feel obligated to add a :)_

He texted her back. _Good work, Amy Farrah Fowler._

"Okay," Penny said, letting out a breath as she hung up the phone. "We are scheduled for inplantation."

**Sorry this is so short. And sorry the chapters are still choppy, but after this I'll have to stop making time jumps because of the pre-pregnancy process being over. I wanted to get this chapter up today because I'll be without internet access for the next week. I promise updates will follow more rapidly once I get back.**

**That said, you all know by now that I love love love reviews! I won't be able to do a proper reply to them until I get home, because my phone won't let me, but I promise, I appreciate all of them and will do my replies when I get back.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter! Sorry it's been so long, but I've been away. I have a bit of the later story written out, so once I write what's between this and that part, the fic will be updated more frequently. :)**

**I still don't own anything. Aside from these random doctors and nurses and all those people. But we don't care about them.**

Penny knew what day it was. Even in that period of waking up where one is somewhere between the unconscious and conscious, she knew. And it wasn't just a "there's something about today" realization. She knew exactly what was occupying her thoughts as she drifted upward from that place of dreaming.

Today was the day she'd find out if residing within her were the children of Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler.

Two weeks ago, she'd gone to the doctor's and they'd put two of the Fowler-Cooper embryos into her "womb" as Sheldon called it, or "uterus" as Amy referred to it. She preferred "womb". She liked the way Sheldon phrased things. "Womb," he said. "Lady parts." Despite his inability to realize when he was saying inappropriate things, he was very nice about his word choice in certain scenarios.

After the process was over, Leonard had driven her home, Sheldon, Amy, and Bernadette occupying the seats behind them. The Shamy had discussed the odds of an embryo taking on the first try, and Bernadette had interjected a few times. Leonard had repeatedly her way. She'd simply faced forward, a hand under her shirt and on her stomach. Wondering.

"You're awfully quiet," Leonard had said as they turned down their street.

"I don't want to not know for so long," she'd said.

The past two weeks had been terrible. She'd thought about morning sickness so much that she'd thought herself into a bout of nausea while eating eggs at Sheldon and Leonard's place. She'd begun to count how many times each day she had to pee to see if the number increased. She knew two weeks wasn't really long enough to exhibit any of those symptoms, but she had been looking for them, each and every day.

Penny got up and headed out into the kitchen, desperate for something to drink. Terrified to drink anything but milk and water these past few weeks – she was more paranoid about losing a fragile embryo than she'd ever been about anything – she gulped two glasses of water before feeling thoroughly quenched.

There was a rapping at the door. The same three knock cadence she'd become so familiar with, only this time the word "Bestie" was heard at the conclusion of each one.

She moved to the door and opened it. "Hey, Amy."

"Morning, Bestie. Have you peed on anything yet?"

Penny leaned against the door. "You know? I was going to pee on the coffee table, but I figured I'd wait for you to come over first."

Amy's response to her joke was one blink. "It has been two weeks. Have you taken the pregnancy test this morning?"

"No," Penny said. "I'm going in later today. At nine. You know that."

Amy sighed. "They'll do a blood test. You can use the home test right now, if you want. And if you haven't been to the bathroom yet this morning."

Penny grinned. "You really want to know, don't you?"

Amy looked at her like she was crazy. "Of course I do. I can't make it to your appointment, remember? I would appreciate some sort of idea now."

"Okay." Suddenly, Penny got very excited. She knew she'd find out today, but taking a test _now _made her feel very adventuresome. She briefly wondered why she hadn't taken a test already, and decided it was because she didn't want false results.

Amy grinned. "Let's go!" She reached into her bag and produced a pregnancy test. Penny grabbed it and the two women raced into the bathroom. Penny scanned the directions on the back of the package and opened it. She pulled her robe off and tossed it over the tub and began to untie her shorts, and then she stopped and looked at Amy.

"Well?" The neurobiologist cocked her head.

Penny cocked hers the other way. "_Leave!_"

Realization came across Amy's face. "Right." She spun on her heel and exited the bathroom. She was still waiting there a few minutes later when she heard a shriek from behind the closed door. Amy tried the door and discovered that it was unlocked. Peeking her head in, she saw Penny standing by the mirror, holding the test in both hands. When she saw Amy, she grinned. "Positive!"

* * *

><p>"It certainly appears that our transplant was successful," said the man who brought back the results of Penny's bloodwork, urine sample, and other tests. "The tests show a very strong indication of pregnancy."<p>

Penny let out a breath of relief. "Thank God."

"Now here's what's good for you," said the doctor. "Your hormone human chorionic gonadotropin, or hCGs, are normal for a single pregnancy, so odds are you are carrying one embryo. I know that is okay with the couple you are doing with for, as of course the most they wanted was too, but it's good news for you, as well. One pregnancy means less chance for complications, and of course you'll only have to deliver the one, as well."

Penny looked at the doctor for a moment before responding, "Well, that's great!" she said, putting a hand on her stomach. "I'd _hate_ for there to be complications later." She nodded slowly. "So this is good. This is very good."

"It's certianly harder to carry twins to term," said the doctor, "and as you're doing this for someone else, this will make it much more likely that you'll be able to hand over a live, healthy child to them in nine months."

"They're among my best friends," Penny said, although she knew that everyone involved knew this already. These past two weeks had not only made her paranoid of everything she ate and drank, it made her realize more exactly what she was doing. And the past two weeks had not been without doubts. But knowing that Sheldon and Amy wanted this, and remembering that they were such good friends with her made it easier for her to keep her eye on the deed, and not the inconvenience that came with it.

"A lot of surrogates prefer doing this for people they know," he said, nodding. "It also makes it harder if something goes wrong, but at least now you'll have the best possible chance of avoiding that."

"Definitely," Penny said, nodding. "So what do I do now?"

"Well," said the doctor, "the nurse will come in and discuss things such as diet with you, and I've left some pamphlets with her as well. Read them, and come in and see me in another week so we can check you over again. But so far, so good."

"Thank you." Penny stood up and shook the doctor's hand. "I'll see you in a week, then." She picked up her purse and went out to the front desk to make her appointment. Then, she walked down the stairs, out of the building, and sat on a bench by the road.

She burst into tears.


	6. Chapter 6

**Started this chapter last night, but I got caught up watching Friends and failed to finish. So I got right back on it this morning. Enjoy!**

**I still own nothing.**

"Can we take a break?" Howard asked. "My arms hurt."

"You just don't want to lose again," said Leonard.

"I'm not losing!" Howard protested. Leonard raised an eyebrow. "That badly."

Leonard smirked. "You lost by thirty seconds in a two hundred yard race."

"You're thirty seconds from the record," Howard said. "In a two hundred yard race."

"Which still makes you thirty seconds slower," Leonard pointed out.

Howard folded his arms. "Yeah, well…I'm married!"

"I have a doctorate!"

"I might go to space!"

"I…my phone is ringing!"

"Ooooh, you win," Howard said sarcastically.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "It's Penny." He opened the phone and put it to his ear. "Hey, how'd it go?" At first he thought there was no response, then realized that he could hear soft, sad sounds coming from the other end. "Penny?"

The sentence was hard to make out; she was most definitely crying, but he could understand enough to know she was asking "Can you come get me?"

"What's wrong? Where's your car?"

"I took the bus. Can you get me?"

"Where are you?" he asked.

"Drive to the hospital. You'll see me."

Leonard heard her sniff over the phone. "I thought Amy was with you."

"For God's sake, Leonard, will you come and get me or not?"

Leonard put a hand over the phone. "She's definitely pregnant," he whispered to Howard.

"Ah, hormones," he said, nodding.

Leonard up the phone back up to his ear. "I'll be right there." He was temped to ask if she was okay, but figured she must be. It's not like a hospital wasn't right there. Hanging up, he looked at Howard. "I have to go get her."

"I thought Amy was going with her." Howard said, putting the wii controllers down.

"So did I," Leonard said, shrugging. "Maybe she had to work."

"Maybe. Did she say what's wrong?"

"No," Leonard said. "But she's crying."

"Hmmm." Howard and Leonard stood in the living room, looking down at the floor, thinking. Then Leonard spoke. "You know, we're wasting time here." He moved toward the door, grabbing the keys. "I'll see you later."

Penny was right. She wasn't hard to find. When he saw her, sitting on the bench with her knees up to her chest and her forehead resting on them, Leonard pulled the car over to the curb and jumped out. "Penny."

She lifted her head. Her eyes were red and her cheeks damp. Leonard came up and knelt in front of her, and she put her legs back down and leaned forward so he could hug her. Her body was hot from the crying, and as he slid his arms around her and pulled her close he could feel her shaking from the tears. He let her stay that way for a minute or two before asking, "what's wrong?"

Penny pulled back so abruptly that her momentum carried her backward until she was leaning against the back of the bench, looking up at the sky. "I'm pregnant."

Leonard looked confused. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

She pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Okay," Leonard said, moving up to sit on the bench with her. She stayed silent. "Penny, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

"You can't help me," she said bitterly. "You can't bring it back."

Leonard thought he saw where this was going, but tilted his head ever so slightly to the side before proceeding. "Bring what back?"

Penny put a hand on her stomach. "The other baby." She put her other hand up to her face, shielding her eyes from the sun. "There were two."

Leonard shifted his weight. "You know, Penny, the odds of even one taking, and on the first try, I mean…and you only have to carry one…"

"I know," she said. "And I think Amy and Sheldon only wanted the one. But…" she sucked in a breath.

"Look, it's okay," Leonard said. "So one of them didn't take. One did."

"You know what?" Penny said. "You don't understand. You don't understand what this is like." She stood up and faced him, pointing at her stomach. "They put two small, fragile, living things inside of me. And one of them died. Can't you see that? They gave me embryos. They gave me Sheldon and Amy's children! They were alive! And one _died_! One died _inside of me!_ And you can't possibly understand that because _you're a guy!_"

Leonard, still sitting, looked up at her for a long moment. She stood in front of him, one hand still pointing at her midsection and the other clenched in a fist at her side. He knew she wasn't really angry with him. She just needed to yell at someone, to get out what she was feeling. And he knew that he honestly could never fully understand. But unlike a certain homo Novus, he was capable of empathy.

So he stood up and took the two steps that separated them, putting his arms tightly around her again. She stood stiff, her chin up in defiance. Then, after a moment or two, she relaxed, curling her arms around his neck, and let him hold her. "Thank you," she whispered. After a moment, she stepped back. "Can we not go home until it doesn't look like I was crying?"

He nodded. "Okay. Where do you want to go?"

"Well…" Penny looked down shyly.

Leonard gave an amused smile. "What?"

"Can we go to your lab?"

He nodded slowly. "Why?"

"Because…" she shifted her weight. "I kinda want to melt something under the lasers."

"Are we going to take our pregnancy frustrations out on innocent Barbie dolls?"

Penny smiled and reached in her bag. "I caught this one cavorting with one of Howard's action figures. I'm doing society a favor."

Leonard started laughing. "You just brought that with you?"

"I've been carrying it around. I can't leave it alone with Howard, that's for sure."

He shook his head. "You're so weird." He looked from the Barbie to her. "Do you feel better?"

Penny cocked her head, and then smiled. "Yeah." She looked from Leonard to the Barbie and back again. "I'm pregnant."

He smiled back. "Let's just focus on that."

She nodded.

"Ready to go to the lab?"

"Yeah." She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "But I have to call the parents."

"I'll drive, you call them."

Penny nodded. "Okay." She slid into the passenger seat and held the phone to her ear. "Amy? Yeah, it's me. We were right…one…yeah…yeah, Leonard…oh, I can call him…ha, okay fine…great, later. Bye!"

Leonard glanced at her from the driver's seat. "Is she happy?"

Penny nodded. "And I guess that's enough to make me happy, too."

**I know that was a lot of dialogue, sorry! And don't worry, I haven't forgotten that Sheldon and Amy have lied to Penny. But I can't progress things too quickly. I'd sure love reviews, in the meantime.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is basically filler. I didn't want to jump ahead four or five months so I cut that time in about half. Sorry it's so short, but she's not far enough along in the pregnancy yet to really start going into the other plans I have for the fic. Here is some Penny/Sheldon, with a bit of Leonard at the end. I promise Raj, Howard, and Bernadette, who I know have been a bit lacking in this fic, will be in there **_**much**_** more later on. :)**

**And I still don't own squat.**

It was exactly twenty four hours from the previous time when Penny was jolted from her sleep (she swore that her hearing was much more acute recently; she certianly should be used to the cadence by now) with the familar _Knock knock knock _"Penny?"

_Knock knock knock _"Penny?"

_Knock knock knock _"Penny?"

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and put her feet into her slippers. Grabbing a robe, Penny shuffled to the door and swung it open in time to see Sheldon put an arm over his throat. He was cautious, and rightly so. "What the hell is your problem?" Penny asked, putting her hands on her hips. She was sick of being woken up this early.

"Any dizziness?"

She pushed some of her hair away from her eyes. "What?"

"Dizziness," Sheldon said. "Which is defined by Medicine Net dot com as 'Painless head discomfort with many possible causes including disturbances of vision, the brain, the vestibular system of the inner ear, and gastrointestinal system'."

Penny glared at him. "I know what dizziness is."

"Good," Sheldon said. "Good. Now, are you experiencing any?"

Penny sighed, leaning against the door. This was just like the previous morning, when Amy had come over to ask if Penny had been experiencing any morning sickness. "No, Sheldon. No dizziness."

"Morning sickness?"

"Amy asked me that yesterday."

"Just because you were not experiencing it yesterday does not mean you will not experience it today."

"I guess." Penny said. "But no, nothing."

"Hmmm." Sheldon looked to the side and down ever so slightly "Interesting."

Penny cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. "Is that…bad?" She'd been thrilled that she hadn't been sick at all in these past ten weeks, but if Sheldon, the beautiful mind genius, was concerned, then maybe she ought to be, too. It was his kid, after all.

"No," Sheldon said. "According to Amy, who would know more about this topic than I, some women never experience it."

Penny closed her eyes. "I _know_," she said. "But if some women don't ever get it, why the 'interesting'?"

"Oh," Sheldon said, waving a hand dismissively. "No reason. I'm a scientist. I take the time to…_process_ my thoughts." He cleared his throat. "Constipation?"

"No, but I certianly wouldn't tell you."

"Headache?"

"No."

"Heartburn?"

"No."

"Drowsiness?"

"Well, yeah," Penny said, "but I have this sneaking suspicion that it's due to you and Amy hauling me out of bed every morning for this ridiculous questioning."

"It's _our_ baby," Sheldon pointed out. "And we have every right to check up on you."

Penny nodded slowly before movement caught her attention; she really shouldn't be this surprised that Shamy would go this far.

Leonard was coming up the stairs with a bag in his hand, and Penny greeted him as he reached the fourth floor landing. "What are you doing out so early?" She asked.

"Coffee run." Leonard put the bag down and glanced at Penny and Sheldon for another second before turning to unlock the door. Then, he turned and looked at Penny. "You might want to put on a bra."

Instinctively, Penny pulled her robe closed. "Why?"

Leonard motioned with his head toward the stairs. "Wolowitz and Koothrapali are coming."

Penny glanced up at Sheldon. "Be right back." She closed the door and headed for her room.

She knew one thing for sure. If Sheldon and Amy were going to keep asking her how she was at seven-thirty each morning, complete with an interrogation like inquiry of any and all pregnancy symptoms she may be enduring, she was _never_ going to catch up on her sleep.

**I love reviews! And I think I fixed my account so I get the reviews emailed to me again, so hopefully I'll be able to reply to the thorough ones faster than I have been recently!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter! I believe all seven main characters are in this one, some of course more than others. Starting to get some actual storyline going on now!**

**I still don't own anything.**

"Leonard's in trouble!" Raj slurred, standing in the doorway to 4A and holding the apartment's phone by the top.

Howard and Bernadette stood in front of him, Howard with a bag of food and Bernadette with her purse and a two-liter. "…hello Raj," she said cautiously. "Where are Leonard and Sheldon?"

"Coming home from work," Raj said. "And _Leonard is in trouble_?"

Howard cocked his head. "Is the phone angry with him?"

Raj started laughing. "No…"

"Who is it?" Bernadette asked.

"It's Penny's father, and he is _piiiiiiissed off_!" Raj declared, swinging the phone.

"Have we asked him if he's drunk yet?" Howard asked Bernadette.

"Oh Howie," she said. "It seems obvious enough." A mischevious grin came over her face. "Or maybe it's just to those of us with PhD's."

Howard glared at her. "Shut up!"

"Okay," Bernadette said, glancing down the stairs. She could hear Sheldon's voice. Taking the phone from Raj, she looked at Howard. "Howard, take Raj home."

He looked as if he was going to protest, and she gave him her best _because I said so_ look in response to his silent _why do I have to?_ He sighed. "Fine. Come on, Raj."

"Hee hee hee, we know who wears the pants in that relationship!" Raj said, giggling as he followed Howard.

Bernadette put the phone to her ear. "Hello, Wyatt?"

"Yes, yes I'm still here," he grumbled. "That drunk man said Leonard was 'right here'. Where is he?"

"Give me one second," Bernadette said. "One sec. _Leonard!_" She shouted, covering the phone.

He appeared on the stairway, Sheldon right behind him. "What?"

"Phone for you," she said, holding it out. "It's Penny's father." She lowered her voice. "And according to Raj, he's pissed."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have an adorable way of swearing?" Leonard asked. He furrowed his brow. "Was that inappropriate?"

Bernadette cocked her head. "Not from you." She handed him the phone. "Sheldon, I'm going to…buy a lottery ticket. Want to come?"

Sheldon looked confused. "The odds of winning the lottery are less than if String Theory was shown to be…"

"Why…" Bernadette put a hand on his arm. "Why don't you tell me about it on the way?"

Leonard watched them go, mouthing _thanks_ to Bernadette. Now alone, he turned and entered the apartment with the phone to his ear. "Hello, Wyatt."

"This _is_ Leonard, right?"

"…uh huh."

"I think you and I need to have a little chat, and let me tell you, if I'm not satisfied with the way this turns out, I have no problem, not one, of coming out there and having a face to face discussion. Do you understand?"

Leonard froze a few feet into the apartment, the door still open, his back to the hallway. "Yes."

"Now, what's this I hear about my daughter being pregnant?"

"She…is?" Leonard asked.

"Is that a question, or an answer?" Wyatt asked...or demanded.

"An answer. She's at fifteen weeks."

"That's exactly what her sister told me. Now, I've always thought you were a good guy, a guy that I wanted to see my daughter with. But I need to know what your plans are here, because let me tell you, there is _nothing_ I like and respect less than a man who doesn't own up to what he's responsible for, and…"

"Wyatt."

"Let me finish!"

"It's not mine."

There was a silence. Then, "what?"

"The baby. It's not mine. She's a surrogate." Another long silence. Leonard stood uncomfortably in the doorway, not even thinking that he could move forward, turn around, shut the door, and have a seat. Instead, he just shifted his weight. After another moment of silence, he decided it was safe to venture a question. "Why…why did you think it was me?"

Wyatt sighed over the phone. "Well, she'd been telling me how she's been more responsible now, and how she's stopped hooking up with strangers, and I knew she didn't have a boyfriend, so I guess I just assumed that it was yours."

"Oh. Ah. Well…it's not," Leonard said. "It's not even hers."

"Yeah," Wyatt said.

There was another silence. "But I'll tell you this," Leonard said, breaking it after a few seconds, "if it _was_ my kid, I wouldn't just be the guy next door. I'd move in with her if she wanted me too. I'd ask her to marry me. Hell, if it wasn't my kid but the father wasn't going to do anything about it, I'd probably do those things anyway. Penny doesn't deserve to have to be a single mother, but even if she was, she's got me, Sheldon, Raj, Bernadette, Howard, and Amy. And each and every one of us would be there for her just like we are now."

"Well, that's certainly a good thing for a Dad to hear," said Wyatt. "I appreciate it, son. And, uh…sorry for yelling at you before. Fatherly instinct, you understand."

"No harm done," Leonard said. "Uh huh…okay…yes, I will. Uh huh. Talk to you soon." Leonard hung up the phone and turned to put his keys in the bowl.

Penny was standing in the hallway, facing him with her hands at her sides. Her tank top, tight when she was not pregnant, was displaying her ever so slight change in the midsection. Leonard's keys hit the bottom of the bowl as he looked at her. When she realized he'd seen her, her mouth turned up into a small smile. "How long were you standing there?" Leonard asked curiously.

She swallowed before answering him. "Long enough."

She moved toward him and upon getting close enough threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder. Leonard struggled to hang on to the phone as he returned the hug.

"Leonard?" she said, raising her head and taking one step back.

"Yeah?" He asked, cocking his head ever so slightly.

She swallowed hard. "Thank you." She looked down and then back up. "For what you said. About you. And about everybody."

"I told him the truth," Leonard said putting an arm around her shoulders and drawing her closer so he could kiss her forehead. "We love you. All of us."

She smiled back at him, and both of their heads snapped around simultaneously as they heard footsteps. Amy came around the corner and up the final bit of stairs. "Hello Leonard. Bestie."

"Hey," Penny said, wiping an eye.

"Is something the matter?" She asked in the deadpan that she so rarely ventured out of. "How is the little Fowler-Cooper?"

"Fine," Penny said, putting a hand on her stomach. "Fine, I was just…I just had an emotional moment."

Amy nodded. "I can't say I understand, but noted. Oh…" she gave another stiff nod and stepped forward to give Penny a hug. "Whatever it is, we got your back, Bestie."

Penny returned the hug, smiling. "I know."


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the delay in updating! Here is the next chapter.**

**Warnings: this chapter alludes to a somewhat dark action.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.**

"Well, everything looks good," said the OBGYN, making a final mark on the clipboard. "We'll see you back next Friday, then?"

"Yes," said Amy. "I'll bring Dr. Cooper with us for that appointment."

"Sounds good," said the doctor. "I know how important work is, but it'd be good for him to be here for a few of these."

"I'm not so sure about that," Bernadette said, and Penny smirked. "So doc," Penny asked, sliding off the table, "you're sure everything looks good? Everything? I mean, I told you I've had no morning sickness, no feelings of bloating, no constipation, no heartburn…I mean…"

"You know it's possible but feel it's not normal?" The doctor said, smiling.

Penny glanced at Bernadette and Amy and then nodded.

"It's not the most common scenario that you haven't had any of those, but it's certainly not unheard of. But the heartbeat is strong, development looks good, and the fetus is actually on the higher end of the size range for this place in gestation, so everything is progressing really, really well." She smiled encouragingly. "I'm not worried, and if you can, I'd try not to spend too much time doing that either."

Penny looked at Bernadette and Amy again. "See?" said the microbiologist, squeezing her friend's arm.

"Don't worry," said Amy to Bernadette. "She hasn't been trained to tune out of things that don't need to be worried about, so she's troubled by bothering that she can't help. It's just how her brain works."

"You know, Amy," Penny said, "I'm doing you a pretty huge favor here. You could be nice to me."

Amy smiled broadly. "I'm always nice to you, Bestie."

They left the doctor's office and headed out to Bernadette's car. "I know you are," Penny said, smiling at Amy. "And I want you guys to know, I really appreciate you coming out to these with me. I know you don't have to."

"Have to?" Bernadette shook her head. "Of course we don't have to…well, you can argue that more for me than Amy, but I like coming – one of my best friends is pregnant with the other one's kid! I mean, not only is it messed up when you hear it like that and know everyone's female…" she giggled. "But this is exciting!"

Her enthusiasm made Penny's mood even better. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face as they drove home.

* * *

><p>Penny went straight to her room after Bernadette dropped her off, while Amy went next door to wait for Sheldon to get home. Penny knew that eventually, napping was going to prove to be impossible, so she wanted to take as many as possible while she still could. And despite already showing and incapable of falling asleep on her back, Penny fell asleep quite quickly on her right side and stayed that way for more than an hour.<p>

Upon waking, she put her hair up and headed next door. Maybe the guys were over, or possibly the Shamy was still there and they could try to teach her three person chess again.

Penny stopped in the hall, stunned at the thought that that had actually entered her mind.

She stepped into 4A and found it deserted. The television was off, the computers were all in sleep mode, and there was no evidence that anyone had been there at all aside from the cluster of papers on the coffee table in front of Sheldon's spot.

Sheldon's spot.

Empty.

No one in the apartment.

Penny was sitting in it in an instant, feeling very mischievous. She leaned back and put her feet on the coffee table, on top of the papers, and then froze. He may not know if she sat in his spot, but if she had feet marks on his little graphs and charts, he'd for sure notice and award her a strike, despite the fact that she was carrying his baby.

Pulling her feet up, she leaned forward and began to rearrange the papers, brushing the dirt off of them. She had a moment of panic as she realized that the Shamy was likely to notice if they were even slightly out of order, so she fanned them out as they were and tried to center them in front of the spot.

It was then that her name jumped out from the second chart.

Penny leaned forward and read the axis's of the graphs and then moved to the charts. Her name was there, above the names of several women who's names were only vaguely familiar.

_Alicia Nash_

_Emma Wedgewood Darwin_

Next to them were lists of other names, genders, and education levels, as well as checkmarks under certain symptoms that were all to familiar to Penny, because she'd been worrying about not having them. Then, a name jumped out at her that she recognized.

_Marie Curie_

In that moment, Penny realized what the charts were. The Shamy was seeing what kind of symptoms she had, what kind of food she was eating, what kind of climate she was in. They were comparing it, in intricate charts and graphs, to women of high intelligence and/or women married to men with high intelligence, and tracking how their children came out. Penny was angry enough then, but when she looked at the column where the children's names were, she froze again at the name next to her own.

_Shamy 2.0_

Penny threw all the papers to the ground and stomped on them, tearing some and getting shoe marks on the others. She stormed out of the apartment and down the stairs, where the Shamy was just entering in the glass doors.

She faced them. "What the…what…what the _hell?_"

"Bestie?" Amy asked. "You look a bit flushed. Are you experiencing any sweating?"

"No," Penny said. "So you don't have to check that little box today."

They glanced at each other, and then back to her. Sheldon's mouth was starting to twitch. "Say what?"

"You know, your little data tables that you're putting together so you can see how little _Shamy 2.0_ will turn out," Penny said, speaking from low in her throat. "You didn't mean anything you said to me, did you? About wanting this child? About loving this child? About being parents? You just want genius offspring and you _used _me, and used my body, to get it because you didn't want to have the child yourself! You used me because you two are so neurotically germophobic that you won't just have the stupid sex and get pregnant on your own! And you told me, you _told_ me that you wanted it for reasons that made me agree instead of your real, stupid plan!"

They looked at each other, shifting uncomfortably. Then Sheldon looked back at Penny and offered a hopeful "bazinga?"

"No," Penny said, shaking in anger. "Don't 'bazinga' me. Not when you couldn't even 'bazinga' Amy."

"Well that's another catchphrase effectively ruined," Amy said, looking at Sheldon.

"You know what?" Penny said, shaking her head back and forth. "I'm done with you guys. Don't talk to me. Don't text me, or email me, or even…don't even look at me, okay? I'm done being your lab rat."

They were standing at the bottom of the stairs, blocking the way to her apartment. She didn't want to shove by them, so Penny spun on her heel and headed for the laundry room.

"Bestie, wait," Amy said, trying to go after her.

Penny turned in the doorway. "Amy, I'm sorry," she said. "But I don't want to talk to you right now." She spun around, ignoring the look on Amy's face, and slammed the door. It didn't lock, so she leaned against it and slid down to the floor.

On one hand, she hated herself for being so stupid. She'd known Sheldon for more than half a decade, and he'd never given her any inclination that he wanted to be a father for any reason other than boasting high I.Q. offspring. Even when they were discussing the pre-implantation topics, Amy had made his eyes light up with visions of their family surpassing the Curie's in scientific prestige. Not once had either of them, in the years that she'd known them, shown an interest in anything that didn't involve science. She should have known better than this.

But on the other hand, Penny couldn't believe that Amy had lied to her. She also didn't fully believe her earlier thought that neither part of the Shamy cared about anything not in their scientific field. Penny had taken a while to warm to the idea of having Amy as a friend, but she was very aware of how much she'd grown to want the neurobiologist around. She'd always thought that she was the exception for people like that, that she was the only person that Sheldon and Amy would have as a friend that wasn't extremely intelligent. She wondered now if she herself was kept around for experimentation, remembering how Sheldon had tried to train behavior out of her, and how Amy had waited around for Penny to cry so she could stick electrodes in her brain. All this time, when she spoke of what they meant to her, were they laughing at her for playing right into their plan?

Penny was surprised to find herself crying, and she put her hands up to her face, her elbows touching her stomach that, while not even close to done growing, had done so enough that it was a constant reminder of Sheldon and Amy.

_I'm carrying your little unloved homo Novus baby._

Penny raised her face to the ceiling and took several deep breaths. As she lowered her chin again, she saw a coat hanger on the floor by one of the machines. A dark thought entered her mind, and she pushed it out immediately. She wasn't mad at the baby. She was mad at its selfish, deceptive parents.

She put a hand flat on the top of her stomach, unable to get the Shamy out of her mind. _Sham_ indeed.

_I'm carrying your little unloved homo Novus baby._

She couldn't get that thought out of her mind, either. That didn't surprise her, though, because it was exactly what had bothered her about doing this in the first place, and it was why she was so upset now. She didn't want to give life to a child that no one loved.

Her hand jumped slightly off of her stomach. Penny's eyebrows furrowed slightly, shifting her weight around and looking down at her front. Then, she felt it again. The little unloved homo Novus baby was kicking.

Penny slid her shirt up and put both of her hands firmly on her skin. She felt it again, both inside of her and against her hands. And then the tears came again as she realized something.

_I love this little homo Novus baby._


	10. Chapter 10

**New chapter! All one scene. Takes place later in the day, after the ending of the previous chapter.**

Leonard set the final box of take – out on the table and then looked at the group. "Did you see that?"

"I did," Bernadette said, nodding.

"It's pretty incredible," Howard agreed, taking his box and starting to open it. Raj nodded.

They sat in silence for another moment before Leonard snapped out of it. "Well, I'm going to go and get Penny."

"Make sure you tell her!" Howard said as Leonard exited the apartment.

He crossed the hall. Penny's door was open and he could see her in the kitchen area, so he walked right in. "Penny we managed to unpack all of the food without hearing Sheldon ask if I got the order right because he and Amy are not there and…" he trailed off as Penny turned around. "What's going on?"

She sighed, holding a box of dishes. "I'm just…you know."

Leonard cocked his head, confused. Not only did she look like something was bothering her, her tone and diction further convinced him that something was wrong. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah," she said dismissively, giving him a careless wave with one hand. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm _good_." She put the box on the counter. "Just, you know, packing."

"Packing for what?"

She put her hands down on the table. "I'm going to Nebraska."

Leonard frowned. "Um…" He looked down at the floor, and then back at Penny. "I have a question."

"You have a question? Yeah, buddy, I have a lot of questions. None of them have answers that make me any less upset. So I'm going to Nebraska, I'm not coming back, and not one of you can stop me!"

"Whoa," Leonard said, moving toward her. "You're randomly moving back to Nebraska?"

"Oh it's not random, Leonard," she said, moving away from him and toward her room. "I have my reasons, and damn good ones, too."

"What about Amy? And Sheldon?"

"Oh believe me, Amy and Sheldon were in my head a lot when I made this decision." She took an armful of clothes out of her dresser and tossed them into an open suitcase.

"Do you really think that's fair?" Leonard asked. "You're taking their baby hours and hours away from them."

"Fair?" Penny said. "You don't know the first thing about fair, Leonard Leaky Hofstadter! You aren't carrying something that has parents calling it the two point oh, upgraded version of themselves, like it's the next great piece of software. You weren't lied to and tricked into being the vessel harboring this software and you're certianly not the one that is attached to it to the point of trying to escape from it's creators because you want to shield it from whatever controlled, monitored life it's destined to live even though you know it's impossible."

She paused for a breath, her face red, and Leonard looked down at his shoes. "Shamy took advantage of you, huh?"

"Oh, Penny."

Penny leaned over to look behind Leonard, who turned around to find Howard, Bernadette, and Raj standing there, looking awkward. The microbiologist moved forward and wrapped her arms around her friend, and Penny burst into tears.

Bernadette looked over Penny's shoulder at Leonard and made a small motion toward Penny's bed. Leonard moved over to sit on it, and Bernadette backed Penny up a step so the waitress could lower herself onto it next to Leonard. She slumped to the side slightly, putting her head on Leonard's shoulder as Bernadette sat next to her and took her hand.

Howard and Raj looked awkwardly at each other, and then Howard sat on the corner of the bed next to Bernadette while Raj crawled on behind Leonard and Penny and added an arm to the three that were already across the women's shoulders.

"Don't go to Nebraska, Penny," Bernadette said.

"I can't stay here, Bernadette," she said. "I can't see them right now."

"If you don't want to see them," Howard said. "Just avoid them. You did a decent job of that when you didn't want to run into Ramona…and now that I think about it, I think you spent several months doing a decent job of it with me."

Penny managed a smile. "Those were good times." Howard looked as if he was deciding whether to laugh or act hurt, and Bernadette smirked. Behind them, Raj managed to keep his snicker quiet.

Leonard took possession of Penny's other hand. "Stay here."

Penny sighed. "Give me one good reason. Shamy's here."

"There you go," Raj said, then realized he had spoken and assumed a look of panic.

"Actually," Howard said, glancing at Raj and then leaned slightly forward again to see Penny. "He has a point."

"That's not a good reason," Penny said.

"Um…" Leonard looked over the girls' heads at Howard. "It…kinda is. You've got their child."

"Their _experiment baby,_" Penny said, saying the words with disgust.

"But you care for it, don't you?" Bernadette asked gently.

Penny sat up. "You're too damn intuitive." She let out a small laugh. "Oh!"

The exact same instant, Bernadette and Leonard looked down at where their hands were entwined with Penny's. "Was that the baby?" Bernadette asked, looking excited.

Penny nodded. "Started a few hours ago."

"Wait, we're kicking?" Howard said, jumping up. "Let me feel!"

"The one time in your life I consent to that demand," Penny said, laughing as she readjusted her position on the bed so the three guys and Bernadette could get hands on her stomach. She grinned when she felt the kicks match up with their changing facial expressions.

When the newness factor wore off, they slowly fell silent and looked up from Penny's midsection to her face. It was Howard that spoke first. "Don't go."

Penny sighed. "Howard…"

"Seriously. It's been us five for…well…" he looked at Leonard. "Years! And yeah, Bernadette and Amy are with us almost all the time but…" he shrugged. "I understand you're mad at Sheldon. That's pretty much routine. But the thought of us being…_four_?"

"I never thought of it that way," Leonard said, glancing at Raj, who nodded in agreement.

Penny looked at all of them for a long moment. "Okay."

"You're staying?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah," she said, sighing again. "I will. But I can't deal with Sheldon and Amy right now. I can't eat with you guys if they're going to be there. I can't hang out, and I can't drive you places. I can't do it if they're there." She scooted backward on the bed and pulled her knees up as far as they'd go. "I can't."

They were all silent for several minutes, and then Penny slid off the bed. "I think I'm going to shower and go to bed."

"We'll leave you alone," Bernadette said, getting up and hugging her again. The guys wished her good-night and exited the bedroom behind the microbiologist.

"I'm glad she isn't going," Bernadette said, stating the obvious thought that everyone had on their minds.

"She…she said that…" Leonard closed the door to her apartment as Raj stepped out into the hall behind the rest of the group. "She said not one of us could make her stay. I thought she was out of here."

"Well, not one of us could make her stay," Bernadette said. "But the four of us? She didn't really want to leave; she loves us too much. She just needed to be reminded how much we love her, too."

They stood in yet another silence before Howard spoke. "Penny's right," he said, looking at Bernadette. "You are too damn intuitive."

Raj leaned over and whispered in Howard's ear. "Yeah, I'm a bit uncomfortable with the emotion too, Raj," he said under his breath. "So," he said, clapping his hands together once. "Thai food?"

**No, no Sheldon in this chapter. Or Amy – sorry Joni and Amber! :) They'll be back.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, next chapter! Just the three girls and Leonard in this one, but don't worry, Raj, Sheldon, and Howard will be back soon!**

**Still own nothing.**

Bernadette entered the coffee shop and sat down at a corner table. Usually, they sat in the bigger both by the window, but there were only two of them today. They needed only these chairs and small eating surface.

She, Penny, and Amy had eaten at this place about once a week for months now, but when Amy texted her, asking if they could meet, Bernadette knew that she wasn't just making the request for the sake of routine. She hated any sort of Wildebeest role now, it didn't even make her feel important, but she knew she had to go. So far, there hadn't been any heated discussions between anyone but Penny and the Shamy. The other guys and Bernadette sympathized with Penny, but there hadn't been any public taking of sides yet. If Bernadette refused to see Amy, she'd be starting it, and she didn't want to be _that _person.

Amy entered the coffee shop and went up to the counter to get her water. Bernadette always smiled to herself when Amy did that, imagining her and Sheldon meeting for the first time in this very room. This time, though, the microbiologist tapped her finger nails nervously on the table.

"Hello, Bernadette," Amy said, smiling as she came over with her water.

"Hey, Amy," Bernadette said, giving the neurobiologist a hesitant smile.

"I assume you are wondering about my hair." Bernadette frantically began to study Amy's tresses, searching for any subtle difference in color, length, or style. "Don't trouble yourself, Bernadette," Amy said, "I haven't altered it at all."

Bernadette sighed, not even bothering to enquire as to why Amy had asked. "So…how are you?"

"All right we can cut the small talk how is Penny." The sentence had no natural pauses and wasn't spoken like a question.

"Physically, she's doing great," Bernadette said. "But she's pissed." Amy gave a little laugh. "What?" Bernadette asked, looking confused.

"Howard was telling us the other day how adorable you are when you swear. Now I can't not notice it."

Bernadette put on her best stern face. "Amy, this is not a laughing matter. You've destroyed your relationship with the woman who is carrying your baby."

"In my defense," Amy said, "Sheldon's in on this too, and also, I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight."

Fortunately for the neurobiologist, Bernadette recognized that phrase. "Not helping your relationship with me, Amy."

"Right." Amy nodded. "Sorry," she added as an afterthought. "Okay, well..."

"You know who you should be apologizing to right now?" Bernadette asked. "Penny!" She snapped after several seconds of silence.

"I know who you were referring to," Amy said. "I thought the question was rhetorical."

"Okay then," Bernadette said, resting her head on her hands.

"I have one question," Amy said. "What exactly do I have to apologize for?"

"Amy, you are not that stupid!" Bernadette said, standing up. "Penny was more than happy to do this for you, and you completely lied about your intentions to her. You should have known that she'd be upset and feel betrayed. But no, you just pretend that you're not going to analyze and critique every moment of that child's life. I thought you knew her better than that."

Amy waited a long time before speaking. "I think you all misunderstand. Sheldon and I are not going to do laboratory experiments on our child. It's not going to spend its life as a lab rat with wires in its head; I spent far too much of my childhood alone and without friends to deprive he or she of that. We are just curious at how intelligent the offspring of us, Sheldon and I, will be. Penny is my best friend, but her brain does not operate the same way as mine and Sheldon's does. We phrase things differently, and I know Penny wouldn't describe our intentions for being parents the same way we would, but we mean no harm to her, the baby, or anyone." She was silent again, looking down at the table as Bernadette melted back into her seat. Then, Amy spoke again, in a low voice. "I'm sorry if she honestly feels that we're going to be cold and insensitive. We may be much more intelligent then she is, but we are bad liars. We cannot fake the friendships we do have. I thought she knew _us _better than that."

* * *

><p>"Hey," Leonard said, poking his head into Penny's room. "How's it…what are you doing?"<p>

The suitcase was out again, sitting open on her bed with several sets of clothes inside. "Hey, Leonard," Penny said cheerfully, coming out of her closet with one of the maternity shirts she'd just bought. She didn't quite need them yet, but the day was fast approaching. "How's it going?"

"Well, it certianly seems like it's _going_," Leonard said, gesturing to the suitcase. "I thought you said you weren't moving back to Nebraska."

"I'm not," Penny said. "I'm not going to Nebraska. And I'm not moving away. But there is somewhere that I have to go."

Leonard sat down on the edge of the bed. "How long will you be gone?"

"Not long. A day, maybe. Probably longer. A week. Maybe two. I don't know."

"Bernadette texted me," Leonard said. "She talked to Amy."

"Oh yeah?" Penny said, sitting down on the other side of the suitcase. "And?"

"Amy feels badly about everything."

Penny scoffed quietly. "I'm sure."

"Is your anger subsiding at all?" Leonard asked, looking dubious.

"I…I don't know," Penny said. "I miss Amy. But at the same time, I'm still really angry. Doubtful, too." She looked down at the floor. "I genuinely love those two. But I don't know if it's the same kind that they return to me."

"Maybe it is," Leonard said. "Maybe it's just their version of it. Think of this, if Machine A can produce fifty objects an hour, and Machine B can only produce thirty, that's not Machine B's fault. It's just the way it was made. And if, in the span of one hour, Machine A makes forty-nine and Machine B makes thirty, yes, Machine A makes more, but Machine B is still creating as much as is possible for that individual machine."

Penny glanced over at him. "But what about Yoda? Machine B may be trying to give as much as Machine A, but it still can't. And if there is no try, it fails."

"I don't think Yoda knew about people like Shamy," Leonard said gently. "Sometimes there is a try. Maybe."

"Maybe," Penny said. She sat still for a long moment, and then got up. "What are you doing?" Leonard asked.

"My flight leaves in an hour."

"Wait." Leonard shifted his weight so he could see her better. "You're still going to leave, for an undetermined amount of time, and take that baby away from its family?"

Penny turned to look at him. "I'm not taking it away from family. I'm taking it _to_ family. And no, I'm not doing this out of spite. This family deserves to know."

**I'll be away from Rory (my laptop) until the beginning of August. In the meantime, I've done quite a bit of vidding, and my YouTube username is the same as here. I've also completely updated my Leonard/Penny fansite; you can find a link to that on my profile page. I'll have a new chapter and a oneshot up soon after I return!**

**In case no one has figured out where exactly Penny is going, all I'll add to the chapter is Amber, you're going to be happy about it. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, just got back from vacation, and here is the next chapter!**

**I still don't own anything.**

The plane landed with an ease that Penny did not expect during a rainstorm. She'd fallen asleep to the music blaring through her headphones and awoke to her ears announcing that the altitude was rapidly changing. Penny sat up and tucked her iPod into her travel bag. She almost couldn't believe that the flight was that fast, but then she knew that Leonard and the guys could get her and back in one day of they really had to. She remembered a time that they'd done it before. Still, the rapid arrival threw Penny off; it certainly hadn't been enough time for her to figure out what the Hell she was going to do next. She hadn't told anyone here that she was coming; she didn't know if they'd remember her, and in all honesty, she didn't know if anyone would be home.

Penny deplaned in the middle of the typical shuffle of passengers, claimed her bag, and headed for an airport phone. She knew vaguely where she was going, but she hadn't bothered to look the address up. She had the phone number but for some reason was afraid to call it. She felt that she needed to communicate face – to – face.

Penny stood in front of the phone for a long time and then left without making a call. She didn't know who to call that could help her, she needed a car and the number she had in her phone wasn't for a car rental company. She really hadn't thought this through. All she'd thought of was needing to bring Shamy's baby to it's grandmother.

* * *

><p>The first person she asked about a car rental place was another visitor to the area. The second person was a college student who gave her a "how should I know, I'm not old enough to rent one!" response. Person number three grumbled about how yes, he knew where one used to be, it was his uncle's, but the damn government had forced it out of business years ago and no, he didn't know where any other one was. So Penny stopped in a coffee shop near the airport and asked a stranger with a laptop to look up an address for her. Twenty minutes. A half an hour max. It was five minutes later when Penny realized that she could have – and should have – asked the woman to look up a car place instead of the address. But it was too late now, Penny's clothes were soaked through and it was warm enough that she didn't think she was endangering the little Homo Novus baby.<p>

But damn, was she uncomfortable. Her jeans were plastered to her legs and her shirt to her front and back less than twenty minutes into the walk. She was glad that it was yellow and not white. The rain drenched her hair and some of it came into her eyes, and when she pulled it away the water trickled from her hair down her neck and made her shiver.

Three shirtless teenage boys were pulling a radio flyer wagon with two younger kids in it through the puddles, the smaller kids shrieking in delight. Clearly the rain was welcomed by them. Penny stopped under a tree and dropped her two bags to the ground, the straps on the carry on making her left arm red. The larger bag, while on wheels, was also wet from the rain.

"Well I'm the biggest idiot on the planet," Penny said aloud to herself, letting out a deep breath and picking the luggage up again. She'd been walking in the rain for a half an hour now, she had to be close. Looking up, she managed to see the sign for the street that intersected the one she was on now. It was the right street. Penny moved forward.

When she reached the house, she walked around back and stood in front of the door. Deep down, she knew she'd be welcomed with open arms, but part of her still hesitated. She hadn't seen the owner of this house in years, and she knew that she didn't look like she did then now. Taking in a deep breath and brushing her hair back once again, Penny knocked at the door. When it swung open to reveal the same kindly face she'd first looked upon in Sheldon and Leonard's apartment all those years ago, Penny breathed a sigh of relief. At least she had the right place.

Mary Cooper looked upon the soaking wet woman standing before her first with confusion, then with a warm smile. She stepped aside and held the door open, and Penny silently walked inside.

"God bless you, sweetheart" Mary said, shutting the door and surveying her guest. "You look like you just washed up from the ocean."

"I walked here, from the airport," Penny said.

"Dear Lord," Mary said, looking shocked. "Well let's get you out of those." She glanced at Penny's luggage and appeared to decide that anything in the suitcase wouldn't be dry enough. "Wait here."

As Mary disappeared upstairs, Penny grew nervous. She remembered what she'd said to Sheldon – asking him more than a year ago if his mother would approve of him having a test tube baby out of wedlock, and knowing the answer, and now here she was, helping him do just that. And she had come here, to the Christian woman's doorstep, to tell her. She didn't even know what religious people thought of surrogacy.

She _really_ hadn't thought this through.

Mary came back downstairs with Houston labled sweatpants and a hoodie. "These were Missy's, from high school. They might be a little big, but they'll do until your clothes dry."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cooper," Penny said, taking them.

"The bathroom is right down here." Mary took Penny's arm and led her across the room to another door. "You just get changed."

Penny took a step into the bathroom and turned around, facing the kind woman. "Mrs. Cooper, I have something to tell you. I don't know if you'll like it, but I came here to tell you and you deserve to know."

Mary cocked her head slightly. "Is this about Sheldon?"

"Yes." Suddenly, Penny hated herself for being so bold.

"Honey, you can't tell me anything about that boy that will startle me. The cats, yes, that did, but he can't do that again with the same element of surprise."

Penny bit her lip. "Okay." She turned slightly and put the sweats on the sink so they wouldn't get wet from being held against her. "Here's the thing. Sheldon and Amy."

"Ah yes," Mary said, smiling. Then the look faded from her face. "Did they sin?"

Penny honestly didn't know how to answer that. "Not in the way that…no…" She cleared her throat. "They're having a baby."

Mary's jaw dropped. She closed her eyes slightly, and Penny wondered if she was praying. She shifted her weight. Was the Cooper matron about to become angry? Would the anger be extended to Penny? Or was she okay with it?

Penny shifted again. It had only been seconds since Penny had told Mary that there was a Shamy baby, but the part that terrified her the most was what she hadn't yet told her. That conversation had to be had, and soon, now that she'd already told them about the 2.0. But like everything else she hadn't thought through, Penny had no idea how to go about that particular topic. She felt like she'd have to just say "oh, by the way, I'm the surrogate mother."

Then, ten seconds after Penny had first told Mary about the baby, the topic of Mary's horror or joy helped Penny finish what she'd come all that way to say. She felt a kick, then a second one, against the left side of her stomach. In an instant, and keeping with her pattern of not putting much thought into anything recently, she took a step closer to Sheldon's mother and grabbed her hands, putting them against her stomach. Just as she did so, the baby kicked again, hard, right where the older woman's hands rested. Mary's confusion lasted less than a second. Right as the 2.0 kicked, Penny blurted out the words. "This is their baby."

Mrs. Cooper looked startled, but nothing could rattle the mother of Sheldon Lee Cooper for long. She looked Penny in the eye, and then removed her hands from the younger woman's stomach so she could put her arms around Penny's still wet body. And as the relief rushed through Penny, Mary again spoke the words she had upon the waitress' arrival to her house, only loaded with more emotion.

"God bless you, sweetheart."

**From what I gathered, Christians have mixed feelings on surrogacy, and I know that a lot of the time people say they have views on stuff but then when it's them – or their families – they have a change of heart. So from that, and knowing that Mrs. Cooper already understands that her son is not like her, she likes Amy, and likes Penny, I'm going with she's shocked, but okay with this.**


	13. Chapter 13

**So I actually sat at this computer and typed for a total of about fifteen mintues for this chapter, so sorry if it doesn't measure up to previous ones. But I got inspired by Amber's reviews to write the next chapter before bed, just because they came while I was in a writing mood. So thanks, Amber, for that! :)**

**I still don't own anything.**

While Penny changed into the sweats that hadn't been worn in years, Mary headed up stairs and opened a door that, with the exception of minutes ago, hadn't been opened in months.

Missy's stuff was neatly put into boxes, but hadn't been sent to her new house yet and was left against the wall. Surveying the room more carefully this time, Mrs. Cooper decided that it was nice enough for Penny to stay in while she was here. And she was welcome as long as she wished to remain in the house.

Mrs. Cooper always knew that she couldn't hang on to her children. George was the oldest, the one itching to be independent and assert the age difference – although it was only two years – over his twin siblings. He'd moved out the instance he had a chance, and Mary only saw him when his town's church was closed and he had to come home to go. Missy and Sheldon were always different, both attached to their mother, relying on her even as they grew older, but while Sheldon had been off exploring the educational side of life, in Massachusetts, Germany, and California since he was a preteen, Missy had been content to grow as a normal child would, remaining with her mother and father the usual amount of time. When George senior hurt himself on the roof when the twins were twenty-four, Missy had moved back home, and upon her father's sudden death three years later Missy had cancelled her moving out plans and remained in the home with Mary. But that wasn't forever, the family had healed, and Missy had gotten a new job. Now she was gone, too, leaving Mary Cooper in the house alone for the first time in thirty-three years.

Sheldon had left her even before her firstborn had. Then he had gone. Then Missy, then her husband, who despite their bitter fights and death threats, she'd loved. Then Missy left again, and this time there was no reason for her to come back, at least not until Mary was too old to get around the place herself. Now, four months after her daughter had moved out for the second time, Mrs. Cooper had family in the house again, family brought to her by the pretty young woman who she'd taken an instant liking to, who had, despite the nervousness that made Mary wonder if Penny thought she was fooling anyone at all, traveled across several states to bring Mary Cooper her grandchild.

Whether she was here for a day or the rest of her life, Mary was going to make her welcome. And despite the fact that the child Penny was carrying was not biologically related to her, the baby _was_ in fact related to Mary through her second son. And Penny was the one who was caring for it before it could survive on its own, despite the fact that it was not her child.

Mary momentarily wondered what Jesus would think of the fact that she now felt as if she had four children. Two sons, and two daughters.

* * *

><p>"Here you go, dearie," Mary said, passing the mashed potatoes toward Penny.<p>

"Thank you, Mrs. Cooper," Penny said, smiling as she scooped some of the food onto her plate. She had fallen out of her habit of eating more these past few days, but the homecooked food was bringing her pregnancy appetite right back. "You're going to be born spoiled," she whispered to the baby.

"You know," Mary said. "I always liked that Amy. She's interesting, to say the least, but my was it strange to see Sheldon connect with someone like that." She looked off into the distance, as if reliving a fond memory. "Ah, Shelly."

"Yeah, they're just gems," Penny said before she could stop herself.

Before Mary could ask what Penny's tone meant, the phone rang. "Excuse me," she said, rising.

For a moment Penny thought they were going to pray again, but then she heard the shrill ring. Okay, maybe her hearing wasn't growing acute. She put a spoonful of peas into her mouth.

"Yes, she's here, darling. Just one moment." Mary came into the kitchen again, holding the black phone. "It's Amy."

"Oh, I don't…" Penny caught herself. She couldn't get Mrs. Cooper mixed up in this business. "think that Amy has this number," she added lamely.

Fortunately, Mary didn't realize she'd had to scramble for that sentence. "Here, talk to her. It's her, she told me."

Penny reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Where are you, Bestie?"

"How did you get this number if you didn't know?"

"Leonard said he knew where you were, Bernadette then made a few assumptions, gave me three numbers to call, the first was not where you are, as you are here, the second call, and as I only received the numbers and not names or places to go with them…" Amy trailed off. "It occurs to me that I could have had Wolowtiz track the call instead of wasting my time asking where you are. But hindsight is twenty-twenty. Where are you?"

"I'd rather not say," Penny said in a low voice.

There was a long silence. Then Amy spoke again. "I'm sorry. Sheldon's about as sorry as he can be, which makes me sorrier. Don't be mad at me, Bestie."

Penny had forgotten just how human Amy sounded sometimes. "I don't want to be," she said. "But it's gonna take me some time to get over it."

She heard Amy sigh. "You really don't understand, do you?"

Penny hadn't remembered the last time she'd been so conflicted with something that didn't involve Leonard. "I guess I don't, Amy. I guess I don't. I don't know why you didn't feel that you could tell me the truth."

"I couldn't tell you the truth – _we _couldn't tell you the truth – because you had already named our Truth as a deal breaker. What options were we left with in that scenario?"

Penny closed her eyes. "Look, Amy, I can't talk about this right now. I gotta go."

"Wait," Amy said. "Don't hang up."

"I'm hanging up," Penny said. "But I'm not hanging up on you. Okay? We're speaking. I'm not away from Pasadena because I can't bear to be around you, okay? I just need to be away right now. I need to be…here."

There was a long silence. Then Amy spoke again. "I understand."

With those words, Penny felt better. She still couldn't allow herself to forgive the Shamy and let them back in. But the phone conversation had helped re-establish that Penny had some sort of control; she wasn't just their puppet and they couldn't watch over her twenty four hours a day. She was their surrogate, but she still had herself.

And had the conversation ended just like that, Penny probably would have gone to bed feeling a lot better. But before hanging up, Amy whispered three words, three very human words, three words that didn't come from true robot people.

"I miss you."

And with that, Penny's conflict came right back.

* * *

><p>She went to bed around ten, feeling tired from the flight, the pregnancy, and walking through the rain. Missy's bed was the same size as hers at home, it had new, clean sheets, and Penny should have fallen asleep quickly. But she didn't.<p>

Her phone call with Amy disturbed her, almost haunted her. She knew, deep down, that she never believed that Shamy was going to cage their child and use it solely for scientific gain. She knew, even not – so – deep down, that they, or at least Amy, were truly sorry, and even hurt, for the rift it had caused between them.

She also knew that she wasn't not speaking to them as she usually would because her anger hadn't subsided. It had, and as it had retreated she realized that her own pride was what was continuing this tension. She realized that she'd overreacted to their lie, that they had no malicious intent and honestly didn't consider what they had done as wrong. They didn't understand how homo sapiens thought at that level, they never had and they never would. And Penny had prided herself on being able to read them. But in her determined effort to feel in control, to feel intelligent (as smart people always have stipulations before agreeing to anything), she had tried to paint a picture where she was all in the right and Shamy had done her wrong.

And they certianly hadn't only done her right. But they didn't deserve how she was treating them now.

But she wasn't ready to admit it yet – she'd just run off to Texas, for crying out loud – and while she honestly brought them here not because of Shamy's lie but because of her need to bring the child to Mary, it must seem like a statement of vengeance to those on the outside. Leonard might understand. Maybe Bernadette, too. But most would think she was trying to assert herself by taking their child hours away from them. And this house was so loving, so warm, and so wonderfully distant from all her problems for her to want to leave it just yet.

But even after these revelations came to her like the waves come to a shore, Penny still couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned and listened to the bedsprings squeak. Guilt was overpowering her now. She felt guilty by being here because she knew how it looked on the outside. But she felt guilty for wanting to run home because she had completely good intentions for coming here and it wasn't fair to take the baby from Mary so soon. There'd be time enough for that when it was born.

The door to her room opened, and she saw the silouhuette of Mary in the door. "Can't sleep, sweetheart?"

"Eh," Penny said, shifting her weight again. She lay on her right side, her hands curled up by her chin and her legs as tucked up as they could be. "Not really."

"I always had trouble sleeping when I was expecting," Mary said, crossing the room. Penny didn't bother telling her it wasn't the baby – well, not the fact that the baby was inside her – that was causing her insomnia. Mary sat on the bed, putting her hand gently on Penny's side. "Close your eyes." Penny did so. And then, floating through the darkness, a familiar song reached her ears. A song that never failed. A song that Mary never got the credit she deserved for. Everyone in Pasadena that knew it gave Sheldon the credit, but, while a version had been a public nursery rhyme for years, Mary had been the matron that had sent it down to the next generation. And it never failed. Not when Sheldon fell ill, not when the guys were in Vegas, and not when Penny had been hurt.

"_Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr. Soft kitty, warm kitty…"_

By the fourth time through, Penny's heavy eyelids and relaxed back told her that it wasn't going to fail now, either.

**Review, please!**


	14. Chapter 14

**So I got my wisdom teeth out today. I'll spare all my lovely readers the details, aside from the fact that the lack of pain right now is really blowing my mind. Five guys came out of the same surgery before me and I beat three of them in being cleared to go home. So I'm relieved about that, but kinda bored right now since my head hurts a bit if there is a lot of noise, so I'll write instead of watching T.V. At least until Big Brother is on… :P**

**So here's your next chapter. This just shows some others interacting and sets up for some of what's to come. It will likely be the only chapter in this fic without Penny.**

**So sorry if this chapter is incoherent! I still own nothing.**

"…which in turn leaves Somalia with no famine."

"Careful," Leonard said, "if that opinion gets out people will be rushing to kill every white tailed deer in Tennessee in revenge for the world's issues."

"As much as it is their fault, that would prove to be quite a challenge," Amy said. "But I won't publish my theory. It won't do any good now, the damage was done three hundred years ago."

Leonard shook his head slowly. "I still don't fully understand that game."

"Understandable," Sheldon said to Amy in a low voice. They smirked.

"Have you guys talked to Penny?" Leonard asked, grabbing his mug and moving from the kitchen to his chair.

"I last spoke with her two days ago. She said she's spending time with Sheldon's mother right now that needs to be spent, but she promises that she won't be birthing the baby in Texas. Oddly enough, she keeps telling me that she needs to talk to me, but says it has to be in person."

"Well, maybe some things can't be discussed over the phone," Leonard suggested.

Shamy looked at each other, then back to Leonard. "The phone's entire purpose is talking," Amy said.

"Well," Sheldon started.

"I know," Amy said, "nowadays the cellular phone is used for games, internet, texting, watching movies, and a large amount of other things, but Alexander Graham Bell's sole purpose was voice to voice communication. Saying that Penny cannot speak to me over the phone is irony at its best. Or worst, depending on how you look at it."

"Well, maybe she wants to be face to face with you when she talks."

"We have video on our phones," Amy said. "But of course, Penny's brain operates on a much more primitive level than Sheldon's or mine, so she may be wanting the old fashioned form of communication. Of course, while video chatting is younger than she is, telephones are much, much older, so I still fail to see the…"

"Amy, I get it."

Sheldon leaned over to Amy. "I bet that's what he said in school so the teachers would, as Howard would say 'get off his back'."

"No, that's what Howard would say. I have a PhD."

"Leonard," Amy said, "I don't think that's as funny when Howard is not present."

Sheldon glanced between his roommate and his girl friend. "Actually, Amy, when you've known Howard as long as Leonard and I have, that is _always_ funny." He glanced back at Leonard and gave a quick, airy laugh. "Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to go and void my bladder."

"You are most certainly excused." Leonard muttered as Sheldon got up.

He turned, looking confused. "I wasn't asking for your permission."

"So…Amy," Leonard said, shifting his weight to look from where Sheldon had been standing to her. "You miss Penny?"

She nodded. "I do." Her eyebrows twitched slightly. "Do you miss Penny?"

He looked down and nodded. "Yeah."

"Bernadette does too. She informed me three hours ago," Amy reported, nodding and looking proud that she had such information to provide.

"I bet she does," Leonard said. "Some of us have known each other longer than others, but we're kind of a…a unit. Yeah, a unit, we've sort of become that…after a while…" He stopped making hand motions and looked at the neurobiologist. "Do you sort of know what I'm talking about?"

"Yes," Amy said. "I never had friends in school, so as an adult capable of maintaining relationships with people I have found myself a group for the first time in my life. Part of it, yes, is embarrassing that I enjoy living at that level of life, but unlike Sheldon I understand that everyone needs it. At least to some extent."

"That's very true," Leonard said. He looked down at his hands. "Penny's been there a week already. How long do you think she'll stay?"

"Well," Amy said, "she told me that Sheldon's mother took her to church and she was less than entertained, but she told you in that text that she spent two days ago with Missy, correct?"

"Oh," Leonard said, remembering the conversation, "yes, she did, that's right."

"Okay…" Amy paused, looking up at the sky. "I don't have enough information to calculate. I'd guess at least another week, though. Especially since she enjoys Mrs. Cooper's company, she feels that the grandmother should be allowed to spend time with her and the child although it's yet unborn, and according to Sheldon, Mrs. Cooper would be 'ecstatic to have her in the home'."

"Does she have a doctor down there?" Leonard asked.

Amy shrugged. "She'll be back. She's on the large side for how far she is in gestation, insomnia will come; she'll want to be back in her home. It's just…" she allowed her voice to sound mysterious, "a question of when."

Leonard gave a small smirk. "Well, if she's gone too long we'll have to drive out to Texas and get her," he joked.

"Most definitely," Amy said, not joking at all.

**Hope you can still enjoy my writing while I'm on four medications. :) I'd love reviews.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay, here's the next chapter! I know it seems confusing, with Penny and Sheldon, and Amy, but don't worry, it's supposed to. None of them really know what they're thinking or doing right now.**

**I still don't own anything.**

"See?" Missy said as she and Penny met up in the parking lot. "You weren't the only pregnant woman square dancing, now were you?"

Penny laughed. "No, I guess not." She shook her head, smiling. "Where did you run off to? It's been an hour since I've seen you."

"Well," Missy said, smiling, "You looked like you were having fun; I didn't want you to cling with me all night."

"Hmmmm," Penny said, climbing into the passenger seat of the car. "I'm tired, what time is it?"

"Almost midnight," said the older girl, throwing the car into gear. "Luckily it's not the Coopers' turn to clean up, or you'd be exhausted by the time we got you home."

"I'm pretty close to that _now,_" Penny said, laughing. "I think I yawned four or five times just walking out to this car." Looking at Missy in the dark, she was surprised to see how alert and awake the Texan appeared. "How are you not tired?"

"I'm not carrying around Shelly's offspring," Missy pointed out.

"Oh God," Penny said. "Remember when you came to Texas and Sheldon was…"

"Oh, don't remind me," Missy said, her accent sounding slightly thicker than usual. The women laughed. "So in a way, this is good for me," she continued. "Now Shelly will get off my back about children, now that he'll have one of his own."

"Maybe," Penny said. She'd told Missy about Amy the first time they'd hung out upon her arrival three weeks ago, but she hadn't told anyone yet why she felt so guilty. She wanted to get off the subject of the baby before that topic came up. "So your mom seems to miss you living there," she said.

Missy shrugged. "She does. But I know she'd rather have us all out on our own making a living and being adults than staying in her home. She's a mom; it wouldn't be natural for her not to miss us, but, you know, circle of life."

"Mmmhmm," Penny said, nodding and resting her hands on her stomach.

"Are you gonna miss that baby?" Missy asked gently.

Penny let out a breath. "I don't know. I know it's parents, I'll still be around it, but…" she rubbed her stomach gently. "But he or she isn't mine. And that…" she hesitated, trying to remember if she'd ever heard Missy swear. She simply trailed off, unsure if _sucks_ was even a word that the Coopers spoke. "You know," she finished.

Missy reached over and squeezed her friend's arm. "When are you going back?"

Ah, yes, the question Penny had wanted to avoid. "I don't know. Soon. I think that I have to go soon."

"My mom certianly won't kick you out," Missy said. "You could have that baby here, in all honesty."

"I know," Penny said. "But that wouldn't be fair to your brother and Amy."

Missy pulled into the Cooper's driveway and stopped the car. "Can I ask you a question?"

Penny looked surprised. "Sure…"

"Are you afraid to go back to California?"

"What?" Penny frowned. "Why would I be afraid to go back?"

Missy looked at Penny for a long moment in the dark, just able to make out the other woman's silhouette. "I guess there's no reason. I'm sorry for asking." She pulled the car the rest of the way up the driveway and got out.

Penny hauled herself out of the passenger seat and returned the hug that Missy offered. "Thanks for taking me out there tonight," Penny said gratefully. "I had fun."

They said their good-byes, and Penny quietly entered the house. Mary was already asleep, so Penny crept up the stairs and into Missy's old room. She lay on her side, tired, but unable to get to sleep just yet.

It wasn't that she was afraid of going back to California. She was afraid of what she'd say when she got there.

* * *

><p>Bernadette rolled over. "Howard?"<p>

"Mmm?"

"The phone's ringing."

"Oh," he mumbled. "Thanks for getting it, I love you."

"_What_?" she hissed. Her cell phone was on his side – for some odd reason, so she leaned over his already sleeping body and grabbed it. Without bothering to go into another room, she answered and spoke in a normal voice. "Hello?"

"Aargh," Howard groaned, putting a pillow over his head.

"Bernadette, I know it's late, but I need to talk to you."

"Penny!" Bernadette said happily. Howard lifted the pillow just enough to peer at her and then dropped it again. "How are you?"

"Okay," the Nebraskan whispered. Next to Bernadette, Howard groaned again as his wife switched on the tiny lamp over the bed. "How late did I call?" Penny asked, looking confused.

"It's only ten here," Bernadette said. "He's just being really lazy."

"Wore him out, huh?"

Bernadette laughed. It sounded much less creepy coming from Penny than Amy. "Something like that. So when are you coming home?"

"Well…" Penny hesitated. "Can I be totally honest with you for a second?"

"If every time you're honest with me follows a request for permission," Bernadette said, "You've lied to me a lot."

There was a pause, then "shut up. Okay, here's the short version. Sheldon and Amy ticked me off. I felt betrayed and used. But…I mean, that's how they are, right?" Bernadette opened her mouth to respond, but figured the question was rhetorical when Penny kept going. "So…now that I've had time to cool off, and I had a chance to be around the Coopers some…were they that out of line? Did I overreact? Are they angry at me? What the hell do I say to them?" There was another silence, then, "Bernadette, help!"

"I'm sorry," Bernadette said slowly, "but honestly, I'm a little confused."

"So am I," Penny admitted. "I don't know if I'm angry at them, or if I miss them, or if I've done them wrong or vice versa…I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. This is so fracking messed up."

"All I can tell you, Penny, is that Amy misses you."

There was silence. "I know. And honestly, I miss her, too. I miss all of you guys. But…" she trailed off. "But I feel like the baby is getting more love from it's family here."

"You know the baby doesn't know where it is," Bernadette said. "And it's getting it's love from you wherever you go."

"I know." It sounded as if Penny was trying to stop tears. "I know. I'm just in one of those situations that is so messed up I don't know what's right and wrong."

"Well," Bernadette said, "I'm hugging you over the phone, okay?"

"Okay. I'll call you again soon."

"Sounds good." Bernadette said good-bye and hung up. "I gotta go," she told Howard.

"You don't need to ask my permission, Bernie," he mumbled.

She knew he had no real idea what she was saying, so Bernadette rose, shut off the lamp, and left the room without saying any more.

* * *

><p>Leonard jumped as he heard the rapping on the door. It was quarter to eleven, later than they usually had visitors. Penny wasn't around, and Sheldon and Amy were sleeping at the university while keeping an eye on an experiment he was conducting. It wasn't the typical three knock cadence; it wasn't Sheldon.<p>

Leonard moved to the door and opened it. "Bernadette?"

"We need to go to Texas."

Leonard cocked his head, knowing what she meant but deciding to play a bit. "Really? I mean, I don't know if Howard would approve, but…"

Bernadette slapped him. "You know what I mean. And not now. But in the morning. And we need to take Amy with us."

"Okay…" Leonard nodded, resting his head against the doorframe. "Why?"

"Penny needs us to come and get her," Bernadette said.

"What?" Leonard cocked his head the other way. "I talked to her yesterday, she's fine."

"I don't think she has the guts to come back."

Leonard's head went the other way again. "I'm confused."

"I don't know what's going on," Bernadette said, "but I'm getting the sense that she isn't sure if she can come back because of how she left things with the Shamy. Amy's worried about seeing Penny again, but she wants Penny to come back. Penny is worried about coming back to face Shamy. I think they're both just needing to see each other."

Leonard hesitated. "Both? Penny and the Shamy is three people."

Bernadette folded her arms. "Let's just go get Penny and see how it works out. Okay? Trust me. Otherwise this entire thing is going to be messed up Leonard. _Messed up, Leonard_!"

Her fierceness made him take a step back. "All right. Come back here with Amy at eight in the morning, and we'll take my car.


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay, so I'm finally updating this, sorry it took so long! I had to have a second surgery. Again, I won't bore you all. Sorry you had to wait!**

**I still don't own anything.**

"I'm very excited about this," Amy said. "This is my second road trip ever."

"Your mother never took you traveling?" Leonard asked.

"No," Amy said, "she was always afraid that if I moved around a lot I'd never find a boyfriend. Apparently I take some getting used to."

"_No_," Leonard said, glancing at Bernadette in the passenger seat. She put a hand to her mouth to keep from giggling.

Leonard saw Amy nod through the rearview mirror. "It's true. Quite frankly, I don't understand either. Neither does Sheldon, Bernadette, or Penny. And now that I think about it, neither do you, correct?"

"Nope," Leonard said, realizing that as sweet and normal as Amy tried to be sometimes, she still lacked the same sarcasm detection skills that evaded Sheldon. "No, you were pretty easy to get used to."

"After Sheldon?" Bernadette whispered under her breath. Leonard smirked. "So, Amy," Bernadette said, twisting in the seat to see the neurobiologist. "What are you going to say to Penny when we get there?"

"Well," Amy said, "I assume that this is the part where I back down, say that I was wrong for being curious about the intelligence of any offspring Sheldon and I might have, and ask if she would come home."

"Don't apologize for the way you are," Leonard said. "When Penny and I were dating we got in this fight about whether psychics are real or not, and the only way out of it was to break up or just accept that we think differently about those things."

"Penny and I are not in a romantic relationship, Leonard," Amy said. "She is not a homosexual."

Leonard set his jaw. "I know that, Amy, but it's the same difference here." He flipped on his turn signal and merged lanes. "You are who you are, and I'm sure Penny understands that."

"If she understood it," Amy said, "there'd never have been this fight in the first place."

"Okay," Leonard said. "Then…why don't we come at it from the other side. She may have not understood you well enough to realize your intentions and what those all mean, but wouldn't you also be at fault for not understanding her well enough to know how she'd react to things like this?"

Amy was silent for a long moment. "Let's go back to the part where you were on my side."

"No!" Bernadette snapped. Leonard and Amy jumped. "No sides!" She said fiercely. "We've gotten through this so far without sides. As soon as we start taking sides, we start hating each other. Here's what's going to happen. Amy, you're going to tell Penny that you weren't trying to use her. You're going to tell her that you still want to be her friend. And if that's not good enough, then you're going to back off and let me and Leonard do the talking because we just need this fixed!"

Both Leonard and Amy were silent in the moments following the microbiologist's outburst. Then Bernadette spoke again, in a quiet voice. "Assuming, of course, that you do still want to be her friend."

Amy nodded. "I do."

"That was delicious, Mrs. Cooper," Penny said, taking her plate over to the sink.

"Aw, well thank you, sweetheart," Mary said, reaching over and putting her hand behind Penny's head so she could kiss the top of it. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Penny smiled and moved over to the tray of wet dishes to dry them. There weren't many tonight, just hers and Mary's, but she'd fallen into a habit of helping Sheldon's mother with the dishes following all meals. It just seemed the right thing to do, what with how kind Mary was being to her. She dried the plates and glasses and set them in the cupboard. "I'm going to go read," she told Mary, picking up her pregnancy book and heading for the porch.

There were just a few short months left in the gestation of Sheldon and Amy's baby, and Penny's concern over her relationship with its parents was growing exponentially. As badly as she felt for overreacting and failing to initially see that the Shamy was not a heartless being, she had managed to tell herself that spending this time with Mrs. Cooper would be beneficial to the baby. She'd always known on some level that she was fooling herself, the baby would never remember this, but she'd still remained here in Texas, spending her days with the unborn child's grandmother and aunt. And all in all, the time she'd spent did make her feel better; she knew she was doing the right thing carrying the baby and she had assurance that the little Shamy would be loved by someone. But she was still too embarrassed to go back and admit to Sheldon and Amy that even after knowing them for years, her small fears about carrying their kid would disguise themselves as accusations of being used.

Little Shamy kicked. "I know," Penny said, her default response to such an action. It kicked again. "I know." She put a hand on her stomach and rubbed it gently. "It's starting to get tight in there." She shifted her weight. She didn't know how intelligent this kid was going to be, but she hoped that its brain would be proportionate to its size. She'd been in one of the highest percentiles at the last doctor's appointment.

She turned back to her book, tuning out the crickets chirping and the pots and pans banging from the Cooper kitchen. She didn't notice when two chickens ran squawking across the yard, and she didn't notice when the car pulled into the driveway.

She did, however, hear her name.

Penny looked up, startled, and her jaw dropped when she saw Leonard's car in the Cooper's yard, Leonard, Bernadette, and Amy exiting it. She froze, unable to run, and then wondered why her first instinct was even _run_. Leonard wouldn't have brought Amy here so Amy could yell at her. No way.

She stood up and smoothed her shirt down so it covered her stomach, unsure what she should say. She decided to go with her natural reaction – surprised curiosity. "Hi guys, what are you doing here?" As soon as the sentence came out of her mouth, she wondered if it sounded rehearsed. She decided on no, she hadn't known they were coming, so she couldn't have rehearsed a response.

"We need to talk," Bernadette said.

Penny cocked her head. "Are you pregnant or are you breaking up with me?"

Amy let out a loud, obnoxious laugh. Penny knew that laugh. It meant the person was trying to break tension. Amy let the laugh continue a moment longer, and then snapped into seriousness at what Penny could only assume was a warning look from Bernadette. "Bestie, _we_ need to talk."

Penny swallowed, unsure if Amy was on the offensive or defensive. Either way, the waitress had to admit one thing. "We really do."

"I'll go first," Amy said.

"Okay."

"Okay," Amy repeated. She shifted her weight awkwardly. "Here's the thing." She looked over at Bernadette and Leonard, and then turned back to Penny with a rushed, frantic "I still want to be best friends!"

Penny had felt anxious, nervous, and a feeling of dread when she'd first seen Amy emerge from Leonard's car. Now all those feelings were replaced by the need to cry. "I want to be friends too!" she said in a high, shrill voice that was always how she started sentences that she knew she'd be unable to get through without crying. She burst into tears as she and Amy threw their arms around each other.

"I promise we won't put wires in the baby's head," Amy said.

"And I won't…stop you from wanting it to be smart!" Penny bawled.

Leonard and Bernadette glanced at each other. _Wow_ she mouthed. He nodded back.

"I'm still mad at you, though," Penny said, half teasing as she pulled back from the hug and grinned at her friend. "But I guess I should have known what you guys meant."

Amy shrugged. "Maybe I just take some getting used to."

Penny hadn't been there for the earlier conversation that would have given some context to Amy's comment. Leonard and Bernadette loved the confused look that came over her face.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry, it's been so hard to write recently! There's going to be two or three more after this (and yeah, I've said that before!) – we're into the homestretch!**

**I still don't own anything!**

With Penny home, a tension in the group that they were not aware existed evaporated; in doing so calling their attention to its previous existence. They had not stopped spending time together while Penny had been in Texas, but now that all seven of them were together again they began congregating for every meal, either in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, Penny's, or Amy's. The latter became a location that the group found themselves at with increased frequency as Penny entered her eighth month of pregnancy, as apparently Shamy had decided that their child would grow up with its mother.

"There is no way in hell you can keep the baby at your place," Penny had protested when she discovered their plans.

"Don't you feel it will be easier knowing that the child you carried is not living twenty feet from you?" Amy'd asked.

"I'd love for it to live by me," Penny had replied, "but it's not like I can't visit here; I'm not the mother. But what about Ricky?"

"I got rid of him," Amy had informed her. "The nicotine addiction study is over with."

"Oh. Okay then. I know it's not up to me, but I'd rather have the baby grow up with you than Dr. Wackadoodle over there."

Penny, Amy, and Bernadette spent several days turning the spare room into a nursery. Bernadette brought a crib over from her mother's basement and donated a rocking chair that she had in her closet and never used. "I also have walkie talkies if you need them," Bernadette told Amy.

"I have some," Amy said. "But I appreciate it."

"I feel bad," Penny said, easing herself onto the ottoman that Amy had dragged into the room for her to rest on.

"Why is that?" Bernadette asked, coming by and putting her hand on the top of Penny's head.

"Well," Penny said, "all our old stuff went to my sister when she had my nephew. I don't have anything to give."

Amy walked over and sat down next to her friend, reaching over and patting Penny's stomach. "I think you're doing enough, Bestie."

"I'd say she's doing more than enough," Bernadette said. "Have you ever seen a pregnant woman with that kind of stomach that's only carrying one baby?"

"Very true," Amy said. "If the child is proportionate, and all ultrasounds have indicated that it is, Penny is going to have a grand old time in a couple of weeks."

"What do you mean?" Penny asked.

"Did you think that the child was going to magically remove itself from your body?" Amy asked. "You've seen its head on the ultrasound."

Penny's eyes widened slightly and she froze as if that thought had just occurred to her. "Oh. My God." She leaned back, forgetting that it was an ottoman and there was no back. She cried out as she fell backward, throwing her hands back to break her fall.

Bernadette moved almost too quickly to register, flipping over to her stomach and throwing her arms out to keep Penny's head from crashing onto the floor. She ended up interfering with Penny's own arms and both women ended up on the ground.

"Oh no," Amy said, reacting a second later than the other two. She turned around on the ottoman and regarded her friends. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Bernadette said, pushing herself up. "Penny?"

Penny shifted her weight so she could actually sit on the floor with her knees up. She blinked rapidly and kept her hands on her knees.

"Penny?"

"I think I'm good," Penny said, taking in a deep breath and blowing it out.

"Stand up," Amy said, getting up herself and taking her friend's hand. She pulled Penny to her feet. "Shaky?"

"A little bit," Penny said, "considering I just fell backwards."

"Ottomen don't have backs."

"Ottomen?" Bernadette asked.

Amy grinned, looking proud of herself. "I made it the pluralized form of ottoman."

"Guys," Penny said, not sounding like herself. "Guys…"

"What's wrong?" Bernadette asked, moving around Amy to take her friend's elbows. "What's wrong?"

"I can't feel my knees," Penny said, shrinking down an inch or so.

"Okay, okay, sit down," Bernadette said, helping her friend ease back onto the ottoman. "Do you feel anything?"

"No," Penny said, putting a hand on her stomach as she crossed her ankles.

"You probably just got startled," Bernadette said, running her fingers through the pregnant woman's hair. "Your water didn't break, did it?"

Penny shook her head. "Uh-uh."

"You're probably okay then," Bernadette said.

"I'm not going to be okay!" Penny cried, tears springing to her eyes. "I gotta give birth to this gigantic…Shamy baby and…I've seen its head on the ultrasound!"

Amy put her arm around Penny's shoulder and Bernadette, standing beside them, continued to stroke her hair. "It's going to be fine, honestly," Bernadette said. "But you can't freak yourself out about it because it's going to happen and you're only four weeks away."

Penny nodded. "I know, I know, I just…" she pushed her hair back away from her eyes and grabbed Bernadette's hands, when her fingers caught the microbiologist's. "I love you guys."

"We love you too, Bestie," Amy said fondly, smiling.

"Are you guys coming to my doctor's appointment tomorrow?" Penny asked.

"I certainly ought to. I'm your baby's mother." Bernadette giggled. "Really?" Amy said. "You still find that funny?" Bernadette nodded. "Good, because I do, too," Amy said, giggling herself.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Penny," said the doctor, entering the room. "Wow! Somebody's got themselves a baby!"<p>

"Tell me about it," Penny said, smoothing the gown over her stomach. "It's probably like fifteen pounds."

"I highly doubt it," Amy said. "Babies in the ninety-ninth percentile of birthweight only average about ten."

The doctor ran her hand from one side of Penny's stomach to the other. "Well I also highly doubt the fifteen, but you may be pretty close to the ten."

"Oh God," Penny said, putting a hand on her forehead. "Well I'm warning you right now, you're in for a long frustrating labor and I'm not going to be saying nice things to you!"

"Actually," the doctor said, "we'll do another ultrasound and a few more little tests just to get a better idea if you want, but if the baby is the ten pounds that I think it is, we're not going to have a long frustrating anything."

Penny cocked her head. "What?"

"Well we can't let anyone attempt to deliver a ten pound baby the natural way," the doctor said. "In cases like this we'd schedule a caesarian section and deliver the baby that way."

"Really? Really?" Penny asked, putting her hands on her knees.

"Yes," said the doctor. "I believe I mentioned it to you back in the fourth month."

"You did?"

"Yes," said the doctor. "We've discussed the fact that you're carrying large since then."

Penny bit her lip, thinking. "Maybe we did." She nodded. "So how would that happen? Would you wait until I go into labor, or would you just, you know, just start cutting?" Her eyes widened and she pulled her legs up against her stomach as far as they would go. "Oh my God, you're going to cut me!"

The doctor got up and opened a cupboard. He took out a clay sphere and handed it to Penny. This is the baby's head right now."

Penny pulled her gown to the side. "Cut away! Cut away!"

"Hold your horses," said the doctor. "We need to schedule an appointment for this. It'll have to be in the next two weeks or so."

"Two weeks?" Penny said. "I'm not due for three and a half."

"Penny," Amy said, "the baby is ten pounds. There's not a lot of room right _now_; do you really think he or she is going to want to spend another month in there?"

Penny nodded. "That's a good point," she said, nodding. "So, two weeks?"

"I do planned caesarians on Tuesdays," said the doctor. "I have an opening a week from tomorrow; I do know that."

"Sounds good to me," Penny said. "Will you be able to be there?" she asked Amy.

The neurobiologist nodded. "Absolutely, Bestie."

Penny nodded. "Okay," she said, smiling. "Eight days," she said under her breath. "We're having a baby!"

**I'd love reviews! As usual. And I haven't done a lot of research for this fic, but I do know that ten pounds is when they often schedule C – sections; it happened with a teacher I had a few times. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry this chapter is so short; the next one will be longer, trust me!**

**I still don't own anything. Not even squat.**

"Hey guys," Penny said, coming into 4A and easing herself down on the arm of the couch.

Howard jumped up. "Take mine."

Penny closed her eyes and groaned. "No, that'd require me getting up again."

Leonard frowned. "No it wouldn't. Just slide."

Penny eyed the empty spot and shifted her weight over to get into the spot. "Ugh."

"Are you okay?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah," Penny said. "I'm just uncomfortable on account of my elephant baby." Raj slid his arm around Penny's shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. She looked over at him and smiled. "Thanks."

"I wouldn't worry too much, Penny," said Sheldon. "After all, you are ninety percent completed."

"True," Penny said. "Well, actually, more than that, because I'm going to be done with this on Tuesday."

"Really?" Howard asked. "You can plan that?"

"They're probably going to induce because she's so lar…great with child," Leonard said.

"Nope," Penny said, tracing a line across her stomach. "C – section."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Howard asked. "I mean, I hear labor is worse than like…heartburn, and stuff, but are you sure you want the surgery? I mean, they're going to cut you…places."

"My stomach?" Penny said. "You can say that word. And believe me, this is the best option." She set her hands apart. "This is the baby's head!" Leonard winced. "Yeah!" Penny said. "I definitely want that coming out of a surgical cut in my stomach."

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon asked.

"I have never been more serious," Penny told him.

"I…" Leonard looked down at his food and then back at Penny, gesturing toward her with his fork. "I don't blame you."

"I'm surprised Amy Farrah Fowler didn't tell me this," Sheldon said.

"She e – mailed you," Penny reminded him.

"Oh," Sheldon said. He looked at Leonard. "Internet is still down."

"Ah," Leonard said. He grinned at Penny. "How are we surviving?"

She gave a little laugh. "Yeah."

"Hey, are you okay?" Leonard asked. "You seem a little out of breath."

"Eh, you know," Penny said. "Climbing four flights of stairs is a little hard now, but eh, I can deal with it."

"You know, when my mother was done being pregnant," Howard said, "she would run up and down stairs to try to make herself go into labor."

"I read something like that," Leonard said. "It does work sometimes. It's like how Sheldon's mother had him at a K Mart."

Sheldon frowned. "No she didn't. I was born at the hospital that Stephanie Barnett worked at."

"Um…" Howard put his hands on his knees. "No you weren't, buddy. Your mom had you in the bread aisle."

Sheldon looked at Howard, then Penny, and then Raj and finally Leonard. "Excuse me," he said, fishing his phone out of his pocket and running to his room.

"We have just destroyed his entire world," Leonard said.

"Yeah," Howard said. "Raj, let's go before he comes back out here."

The astro physicist nodded and jumped up, following Howard out the door.

"So," Leonard said to Penny, "Tuesday, huh?"

"Yeah," Penny said. "I can't believe Sheldon never knew he was born in a K Mart?"

"You really think his mother would tell him that?" Leonard asked. "Supermarkets have germs."

"True," Penny said, nodding and resting her hands on her stomach. The baby kicked. "I know," she told it. "It's tight in there."

"So do you have a plan?" Leonard asked.

She looked over at him. "What?"

"Well…" Leonard shrugged. "If the baby's the large, and you go up and down these stairs…"

"Oh my God," Penny said. "Do you think I could go into labor before Tuesday?"

Leonard shrugged again. "I don't know, I mean, it's possible, and babies are born this early with no problems, at least to the best of my knowledge."

"You're right," Penny said, looking alarmed. "Well, I guess I won't walk places now; if I have the car I can drive myself to the hospital, and I'll put Amy and Sheldon both on my speed dial."

"Good ideas," Leonard said, nodding.

"But…" Penny said jumping up awkwardly. "What if it's fast? What if the baby comes and I don't have time to get anywhere? And they said it'd be dangerous for me to try to have it the normal way; they said I could never do it, oh my God, I'm going to die. I'm going to die, the baby will die because it won't have oxygen, I won't be around and the Shamy won't have their child and oh _dear_ God!" Penny leaned over slightly and put her hands on her stomach, sucking in a breath.

"Oh my God!" Leonard said, jumping up and running over to her. "Nothing's happening _now_, is it?"

Penny shook her head. "No, no, just can't breathe."

"Well, that's definitely a problem," Leonard said putting a hand on her back. "Look, you're not going to die. It's a first kid, it's not like everything is going to progress in ten minutes." He slid his arms around her. "Come here."

She hugged him back awkwardly, her right side against him and her stomach preventing a normal hug from occurring. "Thanks." She stepped away. "But still, I really shouldn't risk anything, right? I mean, it'd be better if they could just go and do it on the scheduled day."

"Probably," Leonard agreed.

"Okay," she said, nodding. "I can't live here for the next week."

Leonard frowned. "Why not?"

"Well," Penny said, gesturing toward the door. "Stairs."

"Ah," Leonard said, nodding. "Right." He cocked his head. "Bernadette?"

Penny clapped her hands together. "Yes! Brilliant! She'll let me stay with her. They have that spare room."

"See?" Leonard said. "It all works out in the end."

"Easy for you two to say, Sheldon said, re – entering the living room with his phone in his clenched fist. "I was born among Wonder Bread and hot dog buns!" He shoved his phone back in his pocket. "I have to go wash up."

"Is he aware that he's showered thousands of times since that happened?" Penny asked Leonard with a grin.

Leonard shook his head. "He's a genius in some respects. Not so high school worthy in others."

**Remember, I love reviews! And I'll definitely reply back to you if it's a good one. (And I don't mean 'good' as in 'positive' I mean 'good' as in 'more than one or two words'. Because then it's an actual review and not a comment. Comments are for LiveJournal. Which this is not.)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay. There **_**may**_** be only one more chapter. I did a bit of re – planning. Not on the baby's sex or name, that's been set in stone, but in terms of timeline and what's happening in what chapter. Sorry! :/**

**I still don't own anything.**

"Thank you for letting me stay here," Penny said as she entered the apartment lobby.

"Working elevators are great, aren't they?" Bernadette said. "Here, give me your bags. You probably don't want to be carrying all that around."

"Oh!" Penny nodded, taking the bags of her shoulders and handing them to Bernadette. "But I think it's okay. I carried them all the way to the bottom of the stairs and then realized I forgot my driver's license and went all the way back up and back down again…" her voice trailed off. "Oh dear God, that was a lot of stairs!"

"I'm sure it's okay," Bernadette said. "You're not going to explode."

"Feels like it sometimes," Penny said, laying her hands on her stomach.

Bernadette smiled as the doors opened on her floor. "Let's go. It's right down this way."

Penny smiled. "I know. I've been here several times."

They continued into Howard and Bernadette's apartment and she set Penny's stuff down by the extra room. "I'd offer you the master bedroom, but the bed in here isn't big enough for Howard and I."

"I'm bigger than Howard and you!" Penny joked. "Seriously, though, it's fine. This is great. I really appreciate this."

Bernadette gave her friend an impulsive hug. "It's no problem. We gotta take care of you and the little Shamy."

"Aw," Penny said, awkwardly hugging her friend back. "Are you sure the stairs won't be a problem?"

"I think you're paranoid, to be honest," Bernadette said. "I mean, you didn't even really have those Braxton Hicks contractions, did you?"

"Not really," Penny said. "I had them for a few days when I was in Texas, and the first one made me freak out, but Mrs. Cooper told me that she had them with all three of her kids. Granted, she dropped one in a chain retail store, but…oh my God, it's going to happen to me!"

"Penny!" Bernadette said. "Look, I don't want to upset you, and yes, there is the possibility that you could go into labor before Tuesday, but seriously, even if you do, we're three blocks from the hospital and you're not going to give birth on a stairwell or in an elevator or in a car. I'm taking care of you; you're going to have that baby in a hospital, whether it's Tuesday or not."

Penny smiled. "Thank you." She held out her arms and Bernadette attempted to hug her again. With their fronts against each other and Bernadette's short arms it was difficult, but they stayed that way for several seconds before both of them looked down at the same time. "Is that a Braxton?"

"Yeah," Penny said. "Oh God…" She let go of Bernadette and put both hands on her stomach.

"What?" Bernadette asked, putting her hands on her arms.

"This one hurts," Penny said, clenching her jaw. "Oh my God, Bernadette, I'm going to have this baby in your apartment."

"No, you're not," Bernadette said. "Come on, sit down on the bed."

Penny sank down on it. "Can we go to the hospital?"

"Sweetie," Bernadette said, "I know you're scared, but this isn't necessarily anything. Sometimes the Braxtons hurt."

"Really?"

Bernadette had no idea, but she nodded anyway. "This is the first one that's hurt, right?" Penny nodded. "So let's wait," she said. "If there are more than four in an hour, we'll go to the hospital, okay?" Penny nodded as Bernadette ran her fingers through her friend's hair. "It's gonna be okay."

* * *

><p>"Hey Penny," Leonard said upon picking up the phone. "How are you doing?"<p>

"I've had three," Penny said. "But that's over a ten hour period so it's nothing to worry about. I called the doctor. Normally they say don't come until they're regular and like five minutes apart, or something like that, but if I get four in sixty minutes we're going to go in so they could do the C – section."

"Call us whenever you do go in, okay?" He asked.

"Okay," she said. "Can I talk to Sheldon?"

"Oh," Leonard said, "he's not here right now."

"Really?" Penny said. "Where is he?"

"Out with Amy."

"What do you mean, 'out' with Amy?" she asked. "Are they like 'out' out, or just out?"

"I…I don't know," Leonard said. "I mean, they're out at dinner, but they're discussing stuff related to the baby. So it's not…really…a date."

"Oh." Penny nodded even though she knew Leonard couldn't see her.

"Are you disappointed?" He asked.

"Honestly, I wish they'd live together," Penny said. "I want the baby to have two parents and a functional family. But…" she trailed off. "I can't have everything that I want." She sighed, falling silent.

"You want to keep it, don't you?" he asked.

She sighed again. "Yes. I do. But it's not like I'm giving my own child up for adoption. It's not mine. And honestly, I don't want to dwell on it. Now that it's going to be over soon…I can't worry about it. I'm going to see him or her a lot, so it won't be as hard as women who give them up to total strangers."

"True," Leonard said. "Well you know, if you turn say thirty and don't have one, and if you want one, I'll help you take care of that."

Penny smiled, even though he still couldn't see her. "Sounds like a plan."

They talked for a while longer, and Penny heard Howard and Bernadette come home from their dinner. "I should go," she said a few minutes later. "My hosts are home."

"Mkay," he said. "I'll talk to you after the next one.

"It's a plan," she said.

After she hung up, Penny came out into the living are to find Howard and Bernadette huddled over playing cards. "Whatcha doin'?"

"War," Howard said. "I'm kicking ass."

"He won a double war," Bernadette said. "Which pretty much doubled his number of cards. I have two aces and all the kings. He's not kicking any ass."

"How are the Braxton's?" Howard asked.

"Bitches," Penny said.

"What…happens, during them?" Howard asked. He looked at Bernadette. "Never my area of expertise. I'm more concerned with them before they get pregnant."

"My stomach gets rock hard; if the little Shamy tries to move during them he or she can't, and it hurts, just a little bit," Penny explained. "But they range from two to three hours apart, so it's absolutely zero deal. I could have to go in before Tuesday, or they could just stop." Penny shrugged. "It's all up in the air."

"Well, I'm proud of you," Bernadette said. "After all those stairs you did and all, I expected you to freak out over this."

"Eh, you know," Penny said, shrugging.

Bernadette cocked her head. "You've" been calling Leonard and Sheldon after all of them, haven't you?"

Penny shifted her weight. "Maybe."

Howard smiled. "I can't imagine Sheldon would make you feel any better."

"Oh no, he makes it worse," Penny admitted. "But he's the father, so I have to call him. I Skyped Amy once, but she's not feeling great so I don't want to call her at all hours."

"Still," Howard said. "You've been so afraid of this stuff recently, you're really keeping your cool now."

"I know," Bernadette said. "That's why I'm proud of you!"

Penny smiled. "Excuse me a minute," she said, getting up and going back to her room. She pulled her phone out and dialed. "Hey Leonard!"

"Whadja freak out about now?" he said, laughing.

"I'm sorry!" Penny said. "I'm just trying not to freak out on Bernadette and Howard. They've opened their home to me."

"So instead you're going to keep calling me?" Leonard asked.

"Sorry."

He laughed. "It's okay. You'll be your normal self in four days. I can deal with this. I mean, let's face it, what you're doing has made Sheldon a lot more pleasant."

"How so?"

"Well, he's not here as much…"

"That's always a good thing!"

"Yeah. And he's in a good mood because, well, he wanted this, so he's getting his way."

She laughed. "That's very true." She yawned. "It just makes me feel better when I can talk about it."

"Talk as long as you want," he said.

"You're so sweet."

"You're one of my best friends," he said. "And you're having another one's baby. I'll stay up late and talk some sense into you if I have to."

She laughed. "I think I'm going to go to bed, actually." She tucked the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she crawled into bed. "I'm relaxed."

"Are you sure?" Leonard asked.

"You know what?" She said. "I really am. Because I know it's false labor. And if what I'd been doing these past few days was enough to start it, I'd have the real one right now. And I don't. So yes, I'm okay. For the first time in awhile."

"That's good," he said. "Night."

"Night."

Penny hung up the phone and dropped it on the bedside table. She rolled onto her side in a half sitting position where she was most comfortable. She hadn't had any sort of contraction for almost two hours, and it was possible that they'd stopped. She put a hand on her stomach and rubbed in gently, feeling the baby move ever so slightly. "There you go," Penny said quietly. "Just stay right where you are."

The Shamy baby listened. The following morning came with no more contractions, and Penny was finally able to relax.

Three days to go.


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm sorry to those that requested I go on after the baby is born, but if there's one thing I hate when it comes to Fanfiction is when authors go on and on per reader request, and they get to a point where they have no more story to tell but keep trying to drag it along. I've told myself that I will never to that, and as in my initial planning for this fic I intended to end it when the baby came, this is the final chapter. I will not compromise the quality of my fics to give people more chapters.**

**I own the baby, I guess.**

"Are we ready to go?" Howard asked, peering into Penny's room.

"You are so lucky that I wasn't changing," Penny said, sliding her feet into her shoes.

"Well, I almost made that mistake an hour ago," Howard said. "But Bernadette warned me. Hey, question, how do girls always know when each other are changing?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "Well, when a girl tells another girl 'hey, I'm going to go and change' then it's a _pretty _good indicationthat that's what they're doing."

Howard made a face. "Fine. But going back to my question, are you ready to go?"

Penny shrugged, putting her hands on her stomach. "No, but…I guess I kinda have to be, don't I?"

"Hey," Howard said, going to sit on the bed next to her. "I don't really understand; I'm a guy, and apparently that makes me unable to understand stuff, but you know that you'll be able to see this little guy whenever you want. And once you explain all this, I guarantee you'll be his or her favorite aunt."

"Are you sure?" Penny said. "This might all creep him or her out…"

Howard gave a little laugh. "Maybe," he said. "But seriously, you're doing a good thing, and I mean, for Sheldon and Amy…what a sacrifice!" He and Penny laughed. "Come on, let's go."

"Where's Bernadette?" Penny asked.

"Right here," said the microbiologist, entering the room. "No more Braxtons this morning?"

"Nope," Penny said. "It's all good." She smiled, getting to her feet.

"Okay," Bernadette said. "Sheldon and Amy are going to meet us at the hospital…"

"Hi Bestie!"

"Sheldon is going to meet us at the hospital," Bernadette amended as the neurobiologist entered the room and gave Penny a hug. "And we said we'd call when we get there, so…" she trailed off, realizing that she didn't have an ending to that sentence. "…we'd better not call now, since we're…not there."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "I think we'd better go and get there before you overthink something else."

"Okay!" Amy clapped her hands together once. "Let's go have a baby!"

"I think we should teleport it to your uterus and have you do it," Penny said dryly.

"It would still be a CPD," Amy said. "And it's much cheaper than teleportation, considering that a caesarian is in fact possible."

"What's CPD?" Penny asked.

"Cephalopelvic disproportion," Amy said. "It's medical terms for the baby is too big."

"I think I might even like that way of putting it better," Penny said. She thought about it for another moment and then shook her head. "No, that one's just as scary."

* * *

><p>"I hate this hospital" Penny said. "They stick me with needles and they gave me a catheter."<p>

"You're going to wish that they would do those things after today," Amy said. "Because they're going to cut your lower stomach and staple it shut when they're done."

"Yeah, I got that," Penny said, stretching. The baby did a somersault, and she bit her lip, realizing it could be the last time that she felt that. "I got that."

The four of them walked into the hospital and up to the front desk, where Penny gave her name and information. "Julia will take you to the room," said the lady at the desk.

"Penny, wait!"

She whirled around to see Sheldon, Leonard, and Raj jogging toward her. "You guys," she said, feeling choked up all of a sudden. "I didn't think I'd see you before!"

Leonard got there first and hugged her, and Howard and Raj piled on. "Don't squeeze me so hard," she joked. "If you do, you might squeeze that baby down there, and then the C – section is going to become an emergency."

"Sorry!" The guys jumped back. "Howard, what are you doing?" she asked, laughing, "you've been with me since this morning!"

He shrugged. "They were all doing it."

She laughed. "I'm so glad you guys are here," she said, grabbing their hands one by one. "You can't come in with me but I promise you I'll ask to see you as soon as possible afterwards, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan," Howard translated for Raj. The astrophysicist smiled and nodded, giving Penny a thumbs up.

"Good luck," Leonard told her. "Not that you need it."

"Maybe you should go and wish the doctors…" Howard started, and then trailed off when Penny, Leonard, and Raj glared at him.

"Are you ready?" she asked the Shamy. They glanced at each other and nodded. "Okay," she said, reaching out her hands. Amy took it right away, Sheldon hesitated. "I carried your baby for more than eight months."

Sheldon hesitated. "Fine." He took her other hand, and they walked into the designated room.

* * *

><p>"Okay, here's what's going to happen," the doctor said. "We're administering the anesthesia, and then we're going to string this drape over your ribs so you can't see what we're doing. Then we're going to make a transverse cut – or a bikini cut – of about three or four inches in your skin. Then we'll do the same thing in your uterine wall and remove the baby. This should take about a half an hour."<p>

"A half an hour?" Penny said.

"It's not an emergency operation," the doctor said. "So we don't rush. Don't worry, you'll be conscious, but it'll be over before you know it. Are you ready?"

Penny gave a small nod, readjusting her position on the table. "Amy?"

"Yes?"

"Can you fix the pillow? It's falling off the back."

"Oh, I noticed that," Sheldon said.

Penny and Amy looked over at him. "When you 'notice' something amiss with the little one," Amy said tensely, "you just fix it."

Sheldon looked at her for a moment, then lowered his eyes. "Yes ma'am."

"Okay," said a nurse, approaching Penny. We're just going to put this oxygen tube under your nose, okay?"

"You've already hooked me up to a million different things," she said in mock protest.

"Okay," said the obstetrician. "Looks like we're ready." He stepped beyond the curtain. Penny grabbed Amy's hand when the neurobiologist moved within reach of Penny's strapped down arms, listening to the steady beeping of her heart on the monitor."

Sheldon and Amy heard the monitor's beeps speed up rapidly just as Penny's eyes widened and she let out a shriek.

The obstetrician and nurses were working rapidly. "It's okay, it's okay, the numbing took an extra second," the doctor said comfortingly. "You only have a quarter inch cut," he said. "We stopped."

"Bestie," Amy said, her eyes wetter than anyone had seen them before.

"Are you crying?" Sheldon asked, looking terribly confused. "I'm sorry," he said, looking down at Penny. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Penny said, sucking in a quick breath. "It's numb now."

"We're going back to work," said the doctor gently. "Now I assume you cannot feel that?"

"No," Penny said.

"We sincerely apologize for that," the nurses said.

"It's okay," Penny said.

"No it isn't!" Sheldon said. "That is hospital negligence."

"No," Penny said. "Honestly, it wasn't that bad, I was just surprised.

"Okay, try not to talk," said Amy. "Just let the oxygen flow."

"For some odd reason that doesn't calm me down," Penny said.

"Shh!" Amy put a finger to Penny's lips. "No talking."

* * *

><p>"It's a boy," said the doctor seconds preceding the little cry that pierced the air and reduced Penny and Amy – to a certain extent – to tears. Penny wanted to put her hands up to her face, but she couldn't, so she tipped her head back and choked on her own tears.<p>

The doctor moved over so Penny and the Shamy could see the baby. "Parents care to hold before we take him to recovery?"

"Absolutely," Amy said, nudging Sheldon.

He looked panicked. "What?"

"You're closer."

He cleared his throat. "Right." Awkwardly holding out his arms, the doctor transferred the newborn to his father's arms. Sheldon looked down at him for several seconds before speaking. "Hello." He rocked his arms ever so slightly. "That's a boy. Amy, do you want him?"

"Yes!" she said, beaming and taking the baby. Sheldon looked at Penny. "Ten pounds my Texan ass. Nine point eight at the most. I haven't spent time looking at your hips, but I think you could have done this the regular way."

"Always nice to have your opinion, Shelly," Penny said sarcastically.

Amy looked over at Penny, and silently stepped closer and leaned down. Penny ran her hands through the thin dark hair on the baby's head and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "Thanks," she said to Amy.

"We should be thanking you," Amy said.

Sheldon looked confused again. "We _did_ thank her. Seventeen times. The last this past Saturday shortly after two p.m."

* * *

><p>It was nearly an hour before Penny was stitched up and in a recovery room. The nurses watched her to make sure she didn't get the shakes, and when it became clear that she was okay, they allowed Leonard, Howard, and Raj to come into the room.<p>

"Where is he?" Howard asked after the three guys had gently given Penny a hug.

"Shamy is with him. Then they said they'll bring him to me. They said if I could hold him in my womb for eight months, then I could hold him in my arms."

"That was sweet of them," Leonard said, brushing her hair back.

"It was nice of Amy," Penny said. "Sheldon agreed, but I know Amy was standing on his foot."

Raj laughed.

"How are you feeling?" Leonard asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sore," she said. "And it's going to get worse, but they'll put me on medication if it gets too bad. I feel good though, knowing I did this for them, but…" she shrugged. "It makes me really want one someday." She grinned at Leonard. "In a year or two I may have to take you up on that offer."

"Hey now," Howard said to Penny as Bernadette walked into the room. "Why can't I get in on the…absolutely nothing at all," he finished upon seeing his wife. She playfully rolled her eyes at him.

"Hello!" said Amy brightly as she and Sheldon entered the room, their son in Amy's arms. "I brought him to you, Bestie!" she said, grinning.

"Hey there," Penny said, reaching out her arms. Amy lowered the baby onto Penny's hands and the surrogate drew him in against her for security. "Hey, little boy."

"The last time I said that in the park I almost got arrested," Sheldon mumbled. Penny saw Amy rearrange the position of one of her feet, and Sheldon shut up.

Penny looked down at the baby's pink face. He opened his eyes and looked at her, and she smiled. "Hey there, sweetie," she said, feeling herself tear up. "I'm going to be your favorite aunt," she told him. "Okay? You have to promise, because I was your first home and you never stop loving your first home, you know?"

"Even our child can't understand metaphors at ninety minutes old," Sheldon said. "It took me well, months to figure that one out."

"How's the sarcasm coming?" Penny asked.

"Oh, that reminds me," Sheldon said, "I expect you to teach him about that. It's terribly inconvenient not to have a sarcasm – radar."

"I bet," Penny said. She glanced back down at the baby. She knew this was going to be hard; she'd known since the day she agreed to do this. But she hadn't expected to feel this much emotion – not _this_ much. She leaned down and kissed the baby's head again. "Here, Amy," she said, letting the boy's biological mother take him back.

"Have you decided on a name?" Bernadette asked.

The Shamy nodded. "Yes," Amy said. "Sheldon wanted to name him Newton, but I disagreed. Newton had nothing to do with this child. If we had had gravity be the surrogate, or have had the laws of motion take care of gravity during the final days of the pregnancy, then Newton would be the correct choice."

Penny and Bernadette glanced at each other, confused. "So…" Bernadette asked.

"So I never thought I would name a child anything that sounded this informal," Amy said, "but the son of Sheldon and I is Benny. Benny Newton Fowler Cooper."

"That's a mouthful," Howard said.

"He'll get over it," Amy said. "We are sure he'll be incredibly smart." She looked at Penny and Bernadette. "Do you get it? Bernadette, Penny…Benny…"

"Which I might add is not particularly creative," Sheldon said, "but she did agree to Newton as a middle name, and she was putting quite a bit of weight on my foot."

Penny smirked. "Amy?" she asked in a quiet voice, her smile gone an instant after it had been there.

"Hmm?"

"I can come and see him…right?" Her voice cracked.

Amy sat down on the edge of the bed so Penny could see Benny's face. "We'll both be his mothers," Amy said in deadpan. "Sound good?"

Penny smiled again, reaching over to put her hand on Benny's stomach. "Yeah. Sound good."

Bernadette dropped down onto the bed beside Leonard, Howard beside her. Raj sat at the foot, and Sheldon, uneasy about being the only one standing, dropped down beside Amy.

"Benny is going to have a weird extended family," Bernadette noted, giving a little laugh.

Amy looked up, genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?" She asked. "You are the most normal people I have ever willingly spent time with." She smiled at Penny. "Right?"

Penny cocked her head. "Well…you, yeah, I can believe that. Not me."

"Most definitely not you," Leonard said, laughing.

"Can I just say one thing?" Penny said.

"That would be the day," Sheldon said under his breath.

"That's not sarcasm, no matter how much you try," Howard said.

"Drat."

"Did you want to say your one thing?" Leonard asked.

"Right," Penny said. "Just that…and I may be overemotional right now, but…while you guys aren't nearly the most normal group of people I've ever met, no contest, but…" She felt the tears coming again. "But…" she put a hand to her mouth, and then brought it down to grab Leonard's, her other hand still touching Benny's stomach. "But you guys are the best group that I've met. And that part – that part is no contest either."

**This fic was inspired by a conversation on another site about how awesome it would be if Amy and Sheldon had a baby and Amy named it Benny after her two friends. So I knew the name and gender of the child before I even wrote the fic – apologies to those who wanted it to be a girl. :/ I may write follow up oneshots, but again, only if I have a story to tell. Also, I'm sorry to those who wanted me to get Penny and Leonard together. You all know how much I adore them, but that wasn't my intention with this fic. It was to make the group realize how close they all are as friends.**

**Hope you enjoyed this!**


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